


Wolfsbane

by HoneyBee (Imperatritsa)



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Harry Potter Universe, Hoseok is muggle, Hyungwon is a Potion Master, Jooheon is mentioned, M/M, Mentions of War, Post Hogwarts, Prejudice, Werewolf!Hyungwon, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 05:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18888514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imperatritsa/pseuds/HoneyBee
Summary: When Hyungwon moved in, all he wanted was some peace and quiet to work on his potions. The overly friendly muggle neighbor wasn't in his plans.





	Wolfsbane

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for the Hyungwon bingo, for the WEREWOLF square!
> 
> Hello!
> 
> This is my first Monta X fic and I'm half hyped half nervous and I hope you all like it!!
> 
> Super thanks to all my firends who were a huge support while I was fighting off a block! And super duper thanks to Cari who beta read this mess of a fic, you're the very best! ;; <3
> 
> My twitter is [@heoney_bee](https://twitter.com/heoney_bee), if anyone wants it <3

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Hyungwon chose a house to move into and reopen his shop, he had been told the neighborhood was mostly made of muggles who weren’t known for being friendly. However, he had also been told that they tended to mind their own business. It seemed to be the perfect place for him as the lack of wizards in the small city was exactly what Hyungwon needed after going through hell and back during the past year.

Being too good of a potions master to be dispensable (and too dangerous to be truly welcomed by the wizardry community) Hyungwon hated the way he was constantly used before being thrown away. His name was prestigious enough for him to have an actual waiting list filled with orders from wizards who wanted one of his potions. But that was all they needed him for. No one wanted to spend more time than necessary in his presence, no one wanted to have any kind of relationship out of the professional spectrum, not if they could avoid it.

Because you see, Hyungwon was a great potions master, yes, but he was also a werewolf.

Back when the Second Wizarding War was still ongoing, Greyback and his pack had attacked the Chae manor and killed the entire family after they refused Voldemort’s  _ invitation _ to follow him. The entire family but Hyungwon died that day. He was only three years old at the time and no one had been able to explain how he survived after receiving a bite so young. 

Living in orphanages for most of his life and being a known werewolf made things harder for Hyungwon. The last time he felt welcomed was by his teachers during his years attending Hogwarts, and people’s opinions of him hadn’t really changed when he had proven his worth. He had once hoped that his skills would help him to be accepted, eventually, but he had soon buried such silly desires. 

He did meet people who treated him nicely occasionally but  — save for a few exceptions — they never kept in contact, for one reason or another and Hyungwon just accepted it wasn’t meant to be. He had long accepted that he was probably meant to be alone.

So when he found the house in a place basically free of anyone who could know who he was, he didn’t hesitate before buying it. The unfriendly neighborhood was a small price to pay if it meant he would be left alone. No more afraid glances; not more disgusting sneers. Hyungwon was looking forward to the peaceful time he was about to have. Whenever he wasn’t dealing with any clients, that was. 

He could have never guessed that his neighbor would go against all the rumors he had heard; not only he was overly friendly but also way too nosy for his own good. 

  
  


 

* * *

  
  


 

The first time Hyungwon saw him, he didn’t think much of it. 

He had been in town for five days and most of his things were thrown all over his house with only the front of it, where the shop would be, resembling something close to organization. Archimedes always sent Hyungwon some nasty glares whenever he walked past and he couldn’t blame the owl because not even his perch escaped the mess, a couple of Hyungwon’s shirts hanging off of it. 

He had his extensive book collection to sort through and an absurd amount of ingredients to label, all work Hyungwon liked to do manually. Everything else could be resolved with a couple of spells. He had a lot of work in front of him, nonetheless.

So, of course, he decided to procrastinate for the whole evening and left for a walk.

The city was small and most stores Hyungwon saw didn’t interest him. The only thing that managed to make him at least a little bit curious was the bakery he came across that had a display full of food Hyungwon didn’t know but that looked tasty regardless. He made a mental note to go back there the next day. 

But the first thing to really catch his attention was the bookstore a couple of streets away from Hyungwon’s house.

He entered the store, curious to see the kind of books muggles liked to write and read, and that was where he saw  _ him _ for the first time. 

Hyungwon decided to buy a book — a romance about wizards that Hyungwon was sure would be the most amusing thing he had read in years — and the muggle managing the register blinked curiously when he approached. He was sending him glances that weren’t anywhere near as discreet as the man probably thought before finally gathering his courage to ask if he was new in town.

Hyungwon had been asked that very same question a couple of times already, so he wasn’t surprised. He looked the man up and down before saying anything, which didn’t seem to make the muggle shy, as he just smiled and waited.

“Yeah, I moved in a couple of days ago.”

The man’s face lit up and his smile got even bigger. Actually, he was all big, Hyungwon thought. He was sure he was taller, but the muggle was larger in every other context; his shoulders were broader and his muscles were bigger, bulging and flexing prettily under the cloth of his blouse whenever he moved. Hyungwon was sure he couldn’t be blamed for looking down from his face and at his arms a couple of times. 

He was handsome.

“Oh, welcome, then!” He took the book and Hyungwon watched, hoping he was hiding his curiosity well, as he scanned it and said him the price. The wizard counted the money and gave it to the man, hoping he had gotten it right. “I’m Hoseok Lee and this is my bookstore.” He gestured around the place with a finger, the smile never leaving his lips. “What’s your name?”

“Hyungwon Chae.” 

“Nice to meet you!” He chuckled. “And thank you for your patronage!”

Hyungwon smile was all the answer he got but Hoseok didn’t even see it because he looked down to count the change. He offered it to Hyungwon and he took it with a small sigh of relief that he had apparently gotten the hang of muggle money just right.

“So,” Hoseok said as he put Hyungwon’s book in a bag. “Where are you living?” He looked up at Hyungwon, who only arched an eyebrow at the invasive question. It took Hoseok a couple of seconds to notice how he sounded. He grimaced. “Unless you don’t want to say, of course.” He chuckled in a way that sounded almost bashful. And it weirdly fit him, made him look endearing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound creepy.”

If Hyungwon was a bit more vulnerable, maybe he wouldn’t have answered. But he was sure he’d be able to overpower Hoseok easily on any occasion. He had muscles, sure, but Hyungwon had magic. 

There was also the fact that they lived in such a small city that even if Hyungwon didn’t say where he lived, Hoseok would soon find out. And by his entire body language and how carefree he looked, Hyungwon didn’t really see any malice in the question.

So he told him.

“No, it’s fine. I move into the big house right at the corner, three streets down.”

Hoseok blinked in surprise.

“The brown one?” Hyungwon agreed with a hum and frowned when Hoseok’s smile appeared again at full force. “We’re neighbors, then! The white house right next to you is mine!” Hyungwon knew which house he was talking about. It was smaller than his own but still looked nice. “Honestly,” Hoseok chuckled.” I was wondering if that house was haunted or something, it’s been empty for years.”

It turned out that the house had indeed been haunted when Hyungwon moved in. The ghost was a stubborn one and gave Hyungwon a small headache before he was finally convinced to leave. Hyungwon had said he had to either stay in the attic or move entirely because he couldn’t afford to have someone — even if incorporeal — walking around his potions and cauldrons. The ghost, to Hyungwon’s pleasure, apparently didn’t like the idea of having a roommate and was nowhere to be found the next day.

Hoseok didn’t need to know that, of course. So Hyungwon just gave him a small smile and shook his head.

“I guess I was just lucky.”

When Hoseok handed him his book and exclaimed a happy  _ see you later _ , Hyungwon didn’t think he was being serious.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Living in a muggle neighborhood, Hyungwon needed a cover because he couldn’t just hang a board saying  _ Pinch of Dust - Potions and Ingredients _ without raising at least a few eyebrows. So Hyungwon charmed the entire house, making the shop look like a common herbs shop to the muggles’ eyes. In the back of the shop, the place where he lived and brewed his potions, all traces of magic would be hidden, either the moment a muggle touched the doorknob or by Hyungwon’s wish.

It proved to be the right decision because not only did his regular clients keep coming for his potions and ingredients, but the muggles had also started shopping for the herbs he had. It was an easy way to have muggle money without having to actually go to Gringotts as often as he would have had to otherwise.

So when the same man from the bookstore —  Hoseok Lee, was it? — entered his shop, Hyungwon didn’t think much of it. Only another muggle client looking for something before cooking dinner.

Oh, was he wrong.

His first visit was like Hyungwon expected, sure, but he came back only a couple of days later. And again. And again. Hyungwon started seeing him more often than some of his most loyal, oldest customers and he even surprised Hyungwon once while he was tending to a wizard client. To say he had to get creative to avoid that his neighbor would see or hear too much was an understatement.

Not to mention Hyungwon was starting to become suspicious because really, who needed that much oregano in a single week?

He had been living there for almost two months when he finally approached Hoseok about it. The muggle entered his shop for the third time that week with the same big smile as always directed at Hyungwon, who narrowed his eyes.

“More oregano, Lee?”

The man had the decency to look sheepish, scratching the back of his head with a small smile. Hyungwon glanced briefly to his arms, a little caught off guard with the way Hoseok’s muscles bulged with the movement, before focusing again on his face. 

“Uh. Yes? Please?”

Hyungwon sighed and reached for the small package of oregano he had already separated for him, putting it on the counter.

“You do love oregano, don’t you?”

The blush that appeared on Hoseok’s cheeks almost made Hyungwon smile.

“I do,” he said in a small voice, reaching for his wallet. He pursed his lips as he counted out the right amount of money and he seemed to be thinking hard about something, with how distracted he looked, his movements slow. “Chae?”

Hyungwon blinked.

“Yes?”

“You’ve been here for a while, right?”

Hoseok handed him the money and leaned his arms on the counter, eyes on Hyungwon and cheeks still a tad red.

“Almost three months.”

Hoseok nodded.

“We’ve been neighbors since then and I feel like I barely see you around.”

Hyungwon gave him the pack of oregano with an arched eyebrow.

“I see you every week, Lee.”

Hoseok’s mouth fell open.

“Y-yes, but-”

“Sometimes three times a week.” 

Now Hoseok’s face was obviously burning up, the blush going up to his ears and down his neck, hiding under his shirt. He looked so embarrassed, his mouth opening and closing in such a silly way as he tried to find his words that Hyungwon almost took pity on him. 

_ Almost _ being the keyword. He only watched and waited for the muggle to snap out of his own ashamed state.

Hoseok closed his mouth with a smacking sound after twenty embarrassing — yet amusing, Hyungwon dared say — seconds and finally recovered enough to speak. He sighed and gave Hyungwon a bashful smile.

“I know, I know I’m being weird and obvious, I just…” he brushed the back of his hand on his forehead, under his fringe, with a small frown. “You look cool, I guess?”

Hyungwon blinked.

“You guess?”

“Yeah, I mean. You always look tired, sure.” Hyungwon stared, unimpressed, as Hoseok tripped over his words and hurried the next ones out. “b-but also nice?” he made a face, probably knowing he wasn’t exactly saying the right things to help his situation. “I just… I don’t really have a lot of friends and you’re new here and looked nice so I just…was  trying to befriend you? Maybe?” Hoseok took a deep breath and looked around with a smile. “And this place is pretty neat. I like it here.”

Hyungwon watched him without saying a word for a while, long enough for Hoseok to start fidgeting uncomfortably, playing with his fingers. Hyungwon’s face eventually softened and he smiled.

“I don’t mind a bit of company, I guess.” The muggle’s face slacked in surprise before he beamed brightly. “Just stop buying so much oregano. Are you even using it?”

“Not really,” Hoseok answered in a low tone as he averted his gaze to the side. “My whole house smells of it.”

Hyungwon couldn’t help but laugh out loud, raising his hand to cover his mouth. And even though Hoseok still seemed a bit shy, he looked at Hyungwon and offered him a smile.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

If Hyungwon ever had the opportunity of meeting his past self, he’d make sure to yell in his face how naive he was for thinking Hoseok’s presence in his shop wouldn’t bring him any problems.

Truth be told, he only arrived after his own working hours, which meant he entered the shop’s door one or two hours before Hyungwon closed for the day. He was always smiling and oozing positivity and figurative sunlight out of every pore. Hoseok was also always nice to him and seemed to genuinely like to be around Hyungwon, something he wasn’t used to. Hyungwon couldn’t pretend to not like the muggle.

If only he wasn’t so incredibly  _ curious _ .

Now that he didn’t have to leave right after buying another pack of oregano for his collection, Hoseok leaned against the counter to talk whenever Hyungwon wasn’t dealing with a customer. And he walked around the shop, looking at the variety of products on the shelves when Hyungwon was busy. Which was exactly what worried the wizard.

Hoseok’s presence made Hyungwon realize that he wasn’t anywhere near as good at hiding his potions ingredients as he thought. Hoseok once found the bottle where Hyungwon kept the aconites for his wolfsbane potion and he cursed himself for forgetting to put it away after having them delivered. 

He had all but run to the muggle and snatched the bottle out of his hands. He looked down and all color left his face when he noticed Hoseok had started to unclasp the lid. The plant could be highly poisonous and Hyungwon didn’t even want to  _ think _ about what could have happened to Hoseok if he had taken a couple of extra seconds to reach him. What if he had sniffed it? Or — Merlin forbid! — eaten it? 

Of course, the idea of Hoseok just randomly eating something from his shop was ridiculous, but the thought was there.

Hyungwon tightened the lid with fear still coursing through his veins before looking at Hoseok, who was watching him with a surprised expression, wide eyes glued on Hyungwon’s figure. Forgetting about making up some excuse about the plant, Hyungwon stepped close to Hoseok and lifted the bottle up to his eyes.

“Never, and I mean  _ never _ , touch this again.” Worry was making him nauseous; mind still caught up in what could have been. He was so guilty for having left such a dangerous thing within Hoseok’s reach that Hyungwon didn’t notice how angry he sounded; didn’t notice the way Hoseok’s shoulder raised close to his ears with the way he was being spoken to. “Do you hear me? Never again.”

He watched Hoseok’s adam’s apple bob up and down before his lower lip trembled. Hyungwon only blinked out of his worried haze and actually saw Hoseok’s state when he spoke and his voice was just above a whisper.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Hoseok looked down and held onto his left elbow with his right hand. “I didn’t know.”

Hyungwon let out a breath, feeling his chest heavy. Of course Hoseok didn’t know. He was a muggle — a curious one, of course, but a muggle nonetheless — there was no way he knew how dangerous the aconite could be. For Merlin’s beard, he didn’t even know the plant was anything other than a regular flower.

Letting his shoulders’ sag, Hyungwon sighed and hesitated with his hand in the air before he gently rested his palm on Hoseok’s shoulder, who glanced up at the contact.

“I’m sorry, you’re right.” It was Hyungwon’s fault for being so careless. He should have known better. “You’re right. I’m sorry if I yelled at you.” he paused. “Did I yell?” Hoseok nodded his head and Hyungwon winced. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-” Hyungwon cut himself off and thought a bit better about what he wanted to say. “I’m not angry, I’m sorry I yelled. I was just worried.”

Hoseok’s shoulders had started to relax as soon as Hyungwon said his first apology but when he finished speaking, Hoseok frowned and glanced briefly at the glass bottle in Hyungwon’s hand.

“Worried?”

Hyungwon confirmed it with a nod and looked at the aconite, wondering how could he explain it to Hoseok. Chances were he didn’t know a lot about plants anyway, and maybe in any other situation Hyungwon wouldn’t have done it but he still wasn’t thinking straight after the scare, so he decided to just tell the truth for once.

“This is called aconite.” He said and Hoseok’s attention fell on the plant when Hyungwon gently shook the bottle. “It’s expensive and great for some diseases,” he wasn’t lying, he told himself. “But it’s _ very _ poisonous like this. Without being processed, I mean.” 

Hoseok’s mouth fell open in a silent  _ oh _ and Hyungwon almost smiled at the scene.

“So that’s why you…” 

He gestured in Hyungwon’s direction, not managing to find a good word to represent Hyungwon’s earlier explosion. The wizard nodded his head, fighting off a blush of his own as his brain finally started to process what he had done. He looked down at the aconite to hide his face from Hoseok’s sight.

“Yeah. Sorry I was just scared because I saw you open it.”

Hoseok sighed with a small smile.

“It’s okay. Sorry I just took it.” He pulled at his ear, obviously a bit shy too. “I didn’t know you worked with this kind of thing, I thought it was something like rosemary.”

Despite using it as his cover-up, Hyungwon wasn’t as knowledgeable in muggle herbs, he just let his clients believe he was. But he did know what rosemary was — he actually had them somewhere around his shop — and to know that Hoseok thought the aconite was something as harmless as that made Hyungwon chuckle, which earned him a brighter beam from Hoseok.

“I have some, uh, special orders around.” Hyungwon settled for, hoping Hoseok wouldn’t have any question about it. “So be careful.”

“I will, don’t worry.” 

Hoseok bit his lower lip and shifted his weight from one foot to the other and Hyungwon knew him enough to suspect he was holding something back.

“Hoseok? Is there anything you wanna say?”

“Uh,” he hesitated. “When you say ‘special’...” Hoseok looked around before leaning closer to Hyungwon, whispering. “Do you mean  _ illegal _ ?”

Hyungwon laughed so hard Hoseok had to hold him up.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hoseok  _ wasn’t _ careful, much to Hyungwon’s chagrin.

But could Hyungwon really blame him when the biggest one at fault was himself, for being so bad at hiding spells? 

How the bloody hell Hoseok always managed to come across the few magical ingredients Hyungwon happened to miss was a mystery. It was almost as if he was attracted to them. He never tried to touch anything dangerous again, thankfully, but Hyungwon was starting to run out of excuses. 

“Hyungwon.”

Hoseok had completely let go of any kind of formality two weeks before and Hyungwon couldn’t say he minded. He kind of liked how his name sounded in Hoseok’s voice. For someone who had very few friends during his life, this small intimacy was nice. So, so nice.

“Uh?”

“What is this?”

Hyungwon was currently writing down the ingredients he needed to buy for a big order he got, a difficult potion that would earn him more galleons in a day than he’d usually get in a month. He didn’t worry about Hoseok reading over his shoulder, knowing he usually left him on his own when he was working, keeping himself busy with the shop instead.

So the question got Hyungwon’s attention, who lifted his head to see what was written on the glass Hoseok was showing him. Hyungwon answered automatically, looking down at the paper again, mind still focused on the potion he needed to prepare.

“Frog’s brain.”

It was Hoseok’s yell that made it dawn on Hyungwon what he had said.

“Frog’s  _ what _ ?”

Hyungwon looked up with wide eyes and there Hoseok was, holding the glass away from his face as if whatever was inside would suddenly jump on him. His face was contorted in disgust but he still didn’t look away from the glass.

And despite the slip-up, Hyungwon couldn’t help but laugh out loud, making Hoseok jump and turn to him with slightly wide eyes, the glass still secured on his hand.

He placed the glass back on the shelf where he had found it — Hyungwon really needed to improve his spell casting — and walked to the counter, which was Hyungwon’s clue to fold the paper he had been writing on, putting it in his trouser’s pocket. His attention was all on Hoseok, a smile still playing on his lips.

“Frog’s brain.”

Hoseok’s expression showed his disgust again and Hyungwon smiled bigger.

“You’re joking, right?”

“I don’t know.” Hyungwon crossed his arms on the countertop and leaned his body closer to Hoseok. “Am I?”

“ _ Hyungwon _ ,” Hoseok honest to Merlin whined, which only served to increase Hyungwon’s amusement. “Don’t mock me. Why would you have a frog’s brain in your shop?”

Hyungwon hummed.

“I don’t know, why?”

Hoseok tried to hide the smile starting to form on his lips by shoving Hyungwon’s shoulder, who yelped and clutched the place with an exaggerated expression of pain. Hoseok couldn’t hold back anymore and giggled. This big man really giggled, the smile reaching his eyes and shoulders shaking with the force of it.

“Oh, shut up!”

“This is abuse, Hoseok!” Hyungwon exclaimed, hand still on his shoulder. “You keep your muscles away from me!”

Hoseok shoved him again, his smile never fading as he knew he wasn’t applying any strength. And really, even with all the headaches Hoseok occasionally made him go through, Hyungwon couldn’t bring himself to regret letting him get close.

Hoseok opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the sound of someone entering the shop. Hyungwon straightened his back and cursed internally when he recognized the wizard walking closer to the counter. 

It was almost his closing time, couldn’t he have waited for the next morning to come?

The Garricks were a pure blood family and old customers of Hyungwon. Richard Garrick was an unpleasant man with old-school views and a superiority complex, but he paid whatever Hyungwon asked without complaints and their interactions were never longer than needed, neither being fond of the idea of being together in the same room. 

Hyungwon glanced at Hoseok — who was looking at the man with wide eyes, surely because of Garrick’s expensive dark green robes —  and patted himself on the back for not allowing apparition in his shop because he had no idea of how he could even begin to explain  _ that  _ to Hoseok

“Mister Garrick.” Hyungwon greeted him with a polite nod of his head that wasn’t returned by the man. He was used to the treatment, to fellow wizards thinking they were superior because of Hyungwon’s lycanthropy, but he didn’t miss the way Hoseok frowned.

“My order is ready, I believe.”

Hyungwon nodded and turned to look for the potion he had put somewhere behind the counter, wanting to find it as fast as he could, not liking the way Garrick and Hoseok were standing next to each other. He hoped to Merlin that Garrick wouldn’t say anything to Hoseok and completely ruin Hyungwon’s secret.

Of course, it was too much to hope for. Because when Hyungwon turned around, the vial of Garrick’s potion in his hand, the wizard was looking at Hoseok with an arched eyebrow. Hoseok didn’t seem happy with the scrutiny and raised an eyebrow right back at him as he straightened his back and crossed his arms.

“You’re associating with muggles now, Chae?” Hyungwon’s sucked in a breath and froze in place, looking at Garrick with a blank expression. He didn’t have the courage to look at Hoseok, fearing what he’d find on his face. “I didn’t think you could stoop even lower.”

Hyungwon’s eyes hardened, his lips pressing into a thin line. He was used to being treated as an inconvenient insect, but he hardly ever was so blatantly disrespected in his own shop. However, he heard Hoseok’s voice before he could even open his own mouth.

“I don’t know what you just called me, but I do know rudeness when I hear it.” Hyungwon looked at Hoseok at the same time Garrick did it. “Shouldn’t you show some respect, sir?”

It took a heartbeat for Garrick to react and laugh out loud. Hyungwon’s blood turned into ice in his veins, having no control over what Garrick could say and dreading every second of it.

Hoseok was the first friend Hyungwon made in years and it hadn’t dawned on him how much he valued his friendship until that moment, when everything could potentially come crumbling down.

“Did a muggle just tell me to respect you, Chae?” his voice carried a cruel kind of amusement and Hyungwon handed him the potion.

“Just give me the money and leave, Garrick.”

Garrick did so without uttering a single protest, putting a small pouch full of galleons on Hyungwon’s open palm, smirk still on his lips. 

The wizard turned to leave but he thought better of it and stopped in front of Hoseok, looking him up and down, not at all bothered by his serious and unfriendly expression.

“You’re ignorant, I know,” he started. “but even a muggle like you will soon see Chae isn’t the kind of creature you’d like to associate with.” His smirk grew and he finally walked to the door.

Most of Hyungwon’s clients had the common sense of being discreet in front of muggles and he now knew he had asked for too much the moment he expected Garrick to have the same decency. He sighed and lowered his head, not wanting to face Hoseok just yet.

“I don’t know what just happened,” Hoseok whispered just loud enough for Hyungwon to hear. “but why did you let him?”

Hyungwon frowned and lifted his head to look up at Hoseok in confusion.

“What?”

“Why did you let him treat you like that?” Hoseok’s voice didn’t sound angry but it was obvious he was bothered by what just happened. “He treated you like you were, I don’t know, less?” Hoseok leaned over the counter to look closer at Hyungwon’s face, his eyes searching for something. “He was in  _ your _ shop. He should at least respect you.”

Hyungwon let out a noisy sigh and shook his head.

“Do you think I like it? It’s out of my control.”

The corner of Hoseok’s lips turned down.

“How?”

Running his hand through his hair, Hyungwon shook his head, hating every single moment of this talk with Hoseok. He couldn’t tell him. He could never tell him.

“You don’t get it, Hoseok.”

“So tell me!” Hoseok almost screamed and the volume startled Hyungwon, who looked at him with wide eyes. His reaction seemed to calm Hoseok down, his voice sounding gentler when he pleaded: “Tell me, Hyungwon. I know there’s something going on.” Hoseok looked around the shop before his eyes fell on Hyungwon again. “There’s something in here that just isn’t normal. I know it, I can  _ feel _ it.” He licked his lips. “I know I don’t get it but I can understand if you tell me.”

Hyungwon opened and closed his mouth without any sound coming out before closing his eyes and breathing in deeply.

“Hoseok…”

“I know that whatever that man bought from you wasn’t just herbs.” Hoseok’s voice was low but confident. “What the fuck did he even call me? Hyungwon, please. Tell me.”

Hyungwon knew Hoseok was stubborn enough to not let the subject go. There was no way he’d tell Hoseok that he became a monster at every full moon but it wasn’t uncommon for a few muggles to know about the wizarding world. So maybe it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to tell at least that much? Surely Hoseok was open-minded enough to accept this part of Hyungwon.

So he nodded his head and watched as Hoseok’s entire being relaxed, from his shoulders to his face.

“Okay. Okay but. Not here.” Hyungwon looked at the old wall clock at the back of the shop and saw it was already past the closing time. Perfect timing, he thought bitterly. “Come inside?”

Hoseok blinked and looked behind Hyungwon, to the door behind the counter that was always locked.

“Your house?”

Hyungwon nodded.

“Let’s talk over some tea, yeah?”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hyungwon handed a steamy mug with chamomile tea to Hoseok. Having remembered that muggles liked to drink it to calm down, Hyungwon thought it was a good option given their circumstance. 

Hoseok was sitting on one of the chairs around the small table Hyungwon kept on his kitchen and he sat in front of him, crossing his legs and taking a small sip of his own tea before letting out a sigh. He waited until Hoseok did the same before talking.

“What do you know?”

Hoseok blinked, caught off guard by the question. He frowned and slowly put the mug back on the table top.

“I don’t know? Everything’s just… weird?” Hyungwon nodded in encouragement and Hoseok licked his lips. “Some things are just not the kind of stuff a normal shop would sell. When you said that thing was frog’s brain, I thought you were kidding but now…” he chuckled and rubbed his palm on his nape. “I really don’t know.”

Hyungwon raised the mug to his lips without taking his eye off of Hoseok. Despite how bubbly he could be, Hyungwon knew Hoseok wasn’t stupid. And taking into account how much Hyungwon’s spellcasting actually lacked, he must have noticed much more than that.

“What else?”

Hyungwon let Hoseok take his time and watched as he drank more of his tea while he tried to remember everything he had seen or heard.

“Some of your clients are really weird.” he settled for and Hyungwon straightened his back a little. “They dress weird and talk weird. “ he paused. “About weird things too. I don’t really understand, but it’s not about herbs.”

Hyungwon nodded.

“It’s not.” Hoseok looked up and smiled at him, making Hyungwon blink at how out of place it looked. “What?”

Hoseok’s smile fell and he tilted his head to the side, confusion clouding his eyes.

“What what?”

Hyungwon chuckled, not being able to stop it.

“Why did you smile?”

Hoseok just stared at him without answering for a tad too long until his face lit up with understanding.

“Oh, I was just glad you didn’t try to deny it.” His following smile was small, maybe a little bashful. “That you didn’t actively lie to me, I guess.”

Hyungwon hummed, pushing back the sour taste of guilty at the memory of a very furry problem he wasn’t telling Hoseok.

“Did you notice something more?”

Hoseok sobered up at the question.

“Yeah.” He looked up at Hyungwon with a small frown and the wizard offered him a smile of his own; it was tiny but it helped to give Hoseok the courage to go on. “Sometimes you…” Hoseok chuckled without humor and let go of the mug to lean back on his chair, mussing his blond hair with a hand. “This will sound so crazy out loud but sometimes I’ve seen stuff... Flying? In front of you?”

Hyungwon let out a breath he had been holding ever since Hoseok started to talk about him. He paid more attention than Hyungwon had thought. During all the times Hoseok had roamed around his shop and Hyungwon thought he was too distracted to acknowledge whatever Hyungwon had been doing, he had obviously been wrong. He almost felt ashamed for the way he had basically belittled Hoseok, assumed he wouldn’t be attentive enough.

Hoping things would turn out for the better, Hyungwon pushed his mug away, the movement catching Hoseok’s attention like he knew it would.

“I think it’s better to show you.”

His words made Hoseok sit up straighter, letting go of his own mug and looking around, clearly not sure of what exactly Hyungwon could even  _ show _ him.

Hyungwon slipped his hand inside the sleeve of the sweater he was wearing, Hoseok’s eyes falling on it. He watched as the small frown on the muggle’s face became curiosity when Hyungwon pulled his hand away, his fingers gripping his wand. Hoseok blinked at it and watched without reaction as Hyungwon waved it this way and that, getting rid of the spell that hid his real apartment from Hoseok’s eyes.

The noise of the objects rolling around and disappearing, transforming into new ones — real ones — finally earned Hyungwon a reaction. Hoseok looked from one side to the other with wide eyes, almost falling off his chair when something shifted too close to him. Hoseok’s eyes fell on the three cauldrons Hyungwon had pushed against the wall, and he didn’t blink for way too long for it to be comfortable. Then something moved next to the smallest cauldron and when Hoseok looked at it, he startled so hard he fell off. 

Tentacles without a body were shifting inside a big glass jar. The shelves were full of living ingredients Hyungwon used rather frequently, animals parts he kept alive with magic, to guarantee a fresh ingredient when he finally came around to prepare the potion they were needed for. 

Hoseok scrambled off the floor before Hyungwon could even move to help him and he looked in the living room’s direction, his mouth falling open — probably at how utterly cluttered the room was. He watched from his spot by the table as Hoseok walked into the living room and stopped in the middle of it, just looking around.

While the kitchen was filled to the brim with the ingredients that were needed for the many potions Hyungwon brewed on the daily, the living room had shelves that went from floor to ceiling and covered an entire wall, filled with books and more books of all sizes, new and old ones. Hyungwon’s collection of potions books being one of his few prides, a handful of them having been written by Hyungwon himself. 

Hoseok turned around without leaving the spot he was standing and Hyungwon just let him take everything in. He stopped when his eyes fell on the firebolt Hyungwon owned, the broom leaning on the wall next to the door that separated his house from the shop. Hoseok stared at it for almost half a minute before he finally looked away and his eyes fell on Hyungwon, who thought this was the right moment to walk closer to him.

Hoseok didn’t flinch at his proximity and Hyungwon counted it as a victory.

“So. This is me.”

Hoseok licked his lips before opening and closing his mouth uselessly. He looked around one last time before bringing his attention back to Hyungwon, eyes wides.

“W-what are you, Hyungwon?”

“A wizard.”

And out of all the reactions Hyungwon had expected, Hoseok’s was something he never thought he’d get.

The muggle blinked before a smile slowly appeared on his lips. Hyungwon watched him, completely caught off guard and not knowing how to react himself.

“That’s so cool!”

“What?”

Hoseok nodded quick and when he turned to watch Hyungwon’s apartment again, he was almost jumping on his heels, getting increasingly more excited.

“This is so cool, oh my God!” He paused. “Can I talk about God in front of you?” Hoseok went on before Hyungwon could even think about answering. “Can you cast spells? You do make potions, don’t you? All that shady stuff in your kitchen…” He snapped his head to look at Hyungwon with wide eyes. “Is that even legal?” Hyungwon didn’t think it was possible but Hoseok’s eyes opened even larger. “Do you adore Satan?” He whispered in a low voice as he shifted closer to Hyungwon as if he was scared someone could hear him. “I mean, the witches in the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina do.”

And Hyungwon couldn’t take it anymore, he let out a burst of loud laughter. He held onto Hoseok’s shoulder as his entire body shook with the force of his mirth and the overwhelming relief that came with Hoseok’s overly excited yet innocent reaction. 

He would tell Hoseok that no, he didn’t adore Satan. But for now, Hyungwon just wanted to enjoy the feeling of not being hated by one of his few friends.

Yet, at least.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hoseok’s enthusiasm slowly died down the more he got used to Hyungwon’s wizardry. Three months after Hyungwon revealed his magic, Hoseok still flinched whenever some of the ingredients wiggled in their pots but, otherwise, he felt very much at ease in Hyungwon’s apartment. 

The same couldn’t be said about the real sight of Hyungwon’s shop. When he had shown its true appearance to Hoseok, the shelves got taller and wider at the wave of his wand and next to the herbs Hoseok was already used to, thousands of vials filled with different ingredients appeared out of thin air. 

The place was too full of glass for Hoseok’s big body and clumsy disposition. Hyungwon almost had a heart attack during the occasions Hoseok had accidentally knocked against something that could be potentially dangerous for him. Hyungwon could only thank Merlin for his quick reflexes whenever he had to prevent something from hitting the floor or breaking.

Hoseok eventually confided in him that he didn’t really feel safe there, always too scared of ruining something or knocking an entire shelf down, which Hyungwon didn’t even think was impossible. So whenever Hoseok was around, Hyungwon kept the charm. It earned him a shy smile and blushy cheeks when Hoseok noticed he had been doing it for him, to keep him around. Hyungwon wasn’t even ashamed of it, he was past denying how much he loved the muggle’s company and chatter.

Even though he didn’t feel comfortable in Hyungwon’s potions shop, Hoseok liked to sit down on his couch with one of the many books Hyungwon had on his lap, entertaining himself with all the texts about potions and cauldrons and things he had never even dreamed of knowing about before meeting Hyungwon. Stuff that would bore fellow wizards to death caught the muggle’s attention in a way Hyungwon never expected and it amused him to no end. Maybe if he had at least the smallest drop of magic in his blood, Hoseok could have been a potions master himself with how much he liked to read about it. But as it was, he could only satisfy his curiosity.

“You know,” Hoseok started some night, sitting cross-legged on the floor between Hyungwon’s couch and the coffee table. “I’m still glad you don’t adore Satan.” 

Hyungwon smiled, lowering the book he had been reading.

“Would it have been a problem?”

Hoseok stared at the pages of the book he had open on his lap but his eyes didn’t move.

“Probably not. But I’m still glad.” 

Hyungwon smiled and looked back down at his book. They were in silence for almost fifteen minutes when Hoseok gently closed the book he had and Hyungwon felt his gaze burning on his skin.

“Hyungwon.”

“Uh?”

“Why did that man treat you like that?”

At first, Hyungwon didn’t remember what Hoseok was talking about but then the memory rushed to the front of his mind and he gulped, his brain working a mile a minute to come up with a reasonable explanation that would convince Hoseok.

It wasn’t the first time Hoseok got really close to the subject of Hyungwon’s lycanthropy, even though he had been blissfully unaware of it every single time. Sometime during the previous month, he had arrived while Hyungwon was finishing the wolfsbane potion. He saw the aconite and had asked him what it was for, if he was sick. Hyungwon had been a bit surprised that Hoseok had remembered something he had been told months before and just nodded his head, settling for saying he was feeling a bit under the weather.

The next day Hoseok had brought him one of the books Hyungwon had eyed during one of the few times he visited Hoseok in his bookstore.  _ Here, maybe this will help you feel a bit better too _ , was what he said. Hyungwon had never felt as guilty for misleading Hoseok as he did then.

Hyungwon closed his book and leaned forward, a bit closer to Hoseok, watching his friend’s face. He deserved to know who Hyungwon really was. His wolf was a big part of who he was whether Hyungwon liked it or not, and it wasn’t fair to keep it from Hoseok. However, whenever Hyungwon as much as thought about telling him, Garrick’s voice sounded loud and clear in his mind.

 

_ You will soon see Chae isn’t the kind of creature you’d like to associate with. _

 

And Hyungwon was nothing if not a coward who was  _ terrified _ of losing Hoseok. 

“Some wizard families,” Hyungwon started. “think they’re more important than others.”

Hoseok put the book aside and crawled close to Hyungwon, his attention on him never wavering.

“Why?”

Hyungwon shrugged.

“Some purebloods are just like that.”

“What is that?” there was a small frown on Hoseok’s face and it dawned on Hyungwon how little Hoseok still knew about wizards. “Purebloods?”

“They’re families made only of wizards. There isn’t a single muggle in their lineage.”

“That word again!” Hoseok exclaimed. “That man called me that, too. What is it?”

“Muggles are the non-wizard people.” Hyungwon smiled and reached out a hand before he could think better of it, brushing Hoseok’s hair out of his forehead. The strands were long, almost covering Hoseok’s eyes, and it had been bothering Hyungwon for a little while. When his action caught up to him, he noticed Hoseok was looking at him with a gentle smile and red cheeks. Hyungwon cleared his throat. “It’s not a bad word, don’t worry.”

“So I  _ am  _ a muggle?”

Hyungwon chuckled softly, crossing his legs and resting his arms on his knee, the movement making him lean a little bit closer to Hoseok.

“Yes, you are.”

“But if it isn’t a bad word, why did that man speak it as if he was cursing me?”

Hyungwon sighed and gesture absentmindedly with one of his hands.

“It’s all about the superiority complex, I guess. Some wizards think they’re better than muggles because they have magic.” Hyungwon paused. “And muggles don’t.”

Hoseok nodded slowly but the frown was still present in his face.

“But you have magic.” Hoseok looked around the apartment as if to make a point. “Big magic.”

“I know. But the Chae family isn’t as prestigious as the Garricks.”

The frown on Hoseok’s face only deepened.

“Why is it so important?”

“It isn’t.” Hyungwon smiled. “Some people just think it is.”

Hoseok nodded. Hyungwon knew that Hoseok was used to prejudice, unfortunately. Even if it was within the wizarding world, it wasn’t a hard concept for him to grasp.

“Aren’t you a, uh…” Hoseok licked his lips as he thought about the word he wanted and Hyungwon’s eyes followed the movement. “Pureblood?”

“Yeah, I am.” 

“Then why?” Hoseok’s voice sounded so confused Hyungwon had to hold back the desire to touch him again, even if in an attempt to comfort him. “Why did that man think he was more important than you? He was ordering your potions, you’re  _ good _ at what you do. Why?”

Hyungwon gulped. Hoseok was getting so, so close. Maybe he could tell at least a little bit of the truth?

“Twenty years ago, there was a war.” Hoseok’s mouth fell open and he shifted forward, close enough for Hyungwon to feel the warmth of Hoseok’s body on his legs. 

“A war?”

Hyungwon nodded.

“The second war, actually. A lot of people died. My family, the Chaes, were kind of well known and the wizard who started the war wanted my family to join him.” Hyungwon took in a deep breath. “He was one of those wizards who thought purebloods were superior to other wizards, you know? So he wanted my family to follow him but they refused.” Hyungwon smiled a little sadly. He only knew the story by what he had been told, either gently or in a mocking tone. “He sent a small army to attack our house. Everyone died.” He paused and smiled at Hoseok, who was looking at him with a serious expression. “Everyone but me.”

“Do you remember?”

Hyungwon shook his head.

“No, I was really small.”

Hoseok’s eyes looked sad. It was a story that had absolutely nothing to do with him and yet, they looked sad.

“Who raised you?”

“Orphanages.” Hyungwon shrugged a shoulder. “And then Hogwarts.”

“The school?” 

Hyungwon nodded with a genuine smile.

“Some of the best years of my life.”

Hoseok smiled too before he started to move, gently resting his palm on Hyungwon’s knee and giving him all the opportunity to brush him off. When Hyungwon didn’t, Hoseok put his chin on the back of his hand, looking up at Hyungwon with his head basically resting on his lap. 

“But why does this make he think you’re less than him?”

“An entire pureblood family being completely gone in one night made some people think we were weak. They think I’m weak.”

_ And a monster _ , Hyungwon’s mind added. He pushed the thought away.

“You’re not, though?” 

Hyungwon smiled and threw all caution to the wind, burying his fingers in Hoseok’s hair, brushing the strands back. Hoseok closed his eyes briefly, a smile on his lips.

“I’m not anywhere near as strong as you think, Hoseok,” he said, still running his hands through Hoseok’s hair. “I’m a potions master but that’s it. I’m pretty mediocre at everything else.”

Hoseok raised his head and squeezed Hyungwon’s knee.

“You’re not.”

“No?” Hyungwon arched an eyebrow. “How do you know?”

“That man doesn't want to show it, but he does respect you. If he really thought you were weak, he wouldn’t come back for your potions.” Hoseok crossed his arms over Hyungwon’s knees, resting his chin on them. “He just wants you to think you’re weak because he likes to have the upper hand. I don’t know why you let him treat you like that.”

“I don’t have any control over how people treat me, Hoseok. I don’t  _ let  _ him, I don’t like it. He just does it on his own.”

Hoseok wrinkled his nose and averted his gaze.

“Ok, that was a bad choice of words. But really, he depends on you. You told me he was a regular, so he’s always back.”

Hyungwon chuckled.

“I’m the one who gets his money, Seokie. I think I’m the one who depends on him.”

The nickname escaped his lips without him even noticing but the way Hoseok smiled as soon as he heard it didn’t let Hyungwon regret it.

“I really don’t think so. He could have looked for another potion maker by now but he didn’t. I just think you’re more powerful than you think.” Hoseok paused and looked up at Hyungwon’s face through his eyelashes. “Wonnie.”

“I like the way you think.”

Hoseok chuckled, his eyes closing.

“I just don’t like the way he treats you. You don’t deserve it.”

Don’t get Hyungwon wrong, he was more than relieved that the conversation moved away from the topic of what Hyungwon actually was but he wasn’t happy about it. 

While he caressed Hoseok’s hair and watched the way he enjoyed it with a small smile and closed eyes, he wondered if Hoseok would still think Hyungwon didn’t deserve the bad treatment if he knew he became a werewolf whenever the full moon arrived. 

Hyungwon’s heart hurt at the mere notion of seeing Hoseok looking at him with disgust. He had gotten so used to Hoseok’s gentle — maybe even fond — gaze that Hyungwon didn’t know if he would be able to take it if Hoseok ever looked at him with something like fear or hate.

And Hyungwon would rather never find out.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Their relationship shifted after their talk about Hyungwon’s family. It was subtle but it was there, important enough for Hyungwon to notice it. Maybe it was the way they had finally touched each other that unlocked something within them.

If before Hoseok kept his hands to himself, that changed a bit.

After finding out Hyungwon was younger, Hoseok developed a habit of brushing the back of his head; whenever he talked, his hands always ended brushing Hyungwon’s shoulder, knees or whatever part of him that was close enough to Hoseok. Hyungwon also found himself touching him more and more. It wasn’t calculated, it just happened in the most natural way. 

And by Merlin’s beard, was it driving Hyungwon up the wall.

If he was unsure of when their relationship changed, he was even more confused about his own feelings. Just like Hyungwon couldn’t pinpoint exactly  _ when _ Hoseok stopped being an acquaintance — just another neighbor — and became a friend, he also had no clue of when his own feelings became something more. 

But it was as clear as water now, what with the way Hyungwon smiled automatically as soon as he saw Hoseok entering the shop; or the way his heart beat a little bit faster whenever Hoseok’s fingers brushed his skin.

Hyungwon had slept with people before, both men and women. Even with the clear signs of his lycanthropy in his body, it was never actually hard to find someone willing to have sex, some people even got a kick out of it. It left Hyungwon feeling used but he never truly minded it. He had kissed and gotten physical — not a lot of times, but enough. 

Hyungwon, however, had never fallen in love before and the notion terrified him.

Anything physical was easy. If Hyungwon’s partner ever showed any kind of negative reaction to his body, which had happened more than once, it never bothered him too much because he would never have to see them again. It wasn’t exactly easy but it wasn’t too hard either. 

But this was Hoseok. Hyungwon’s dear friend, someone he learned to love dearly, and the mere notion of being rejected or — even worse — seeing the disgust written all over Hoseok’s face would be enough to break his heart in too many little pieces to be salvageable. 

Hyungwon knew Hoseok was still curious. Knew he had an inkling that Hyungwon hadn’t told him everything. Hoseok was just letting Hyungwon move at his own pace.

But the way he smiled at Hyungwon whenever he changed subjects when their conversation got too close to his nature, told the wizard that Hoseok would be there whenever he was ready.

It would have been a comforting thought if Hyungwon believed he could ever be ready.

The more he thought about telling Hoseok, the more scared of it he was — and Merlin, had he been thinking about it way too often. There was a constant weight on Hyungwon’s chest that never left him, no matter what, and he knew it was his own desire to tell Hoseok, it was the guilt he harbored for never doing it. Hyungwon managed to not think about it during the day, either too busy working or having the help of Hoseok’s presence to distract himself. But whenever he was alone in his room and his head hit the pillow, only the soft noises coming from Archimedes keeping him company, he couldn’t keep the thoughts and feelings at bay anymore. 

It was bearable as long as Hyungwon believed it was one-sided. Unrequited feelings didn’t need to be brought up, Hyungwon believed. As long as it was only his own feelings, Hyungwon didn’t need to worry about being rejected because he didn’t plan to confess. Not now, not ever.

It hurt, of course it did, but it still hurt less than the nightmares Hyungwon had where he told Hoseok what he was and was met with revulsion upon looking at his face. He was happy in keeping his own feelings a secret, was happy at keeping Hoseok as his friend.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The day started like any other and by the time Hoseok entered the shop, Hyungwon was attending his last client of the day. Minhyuk — who also happened to be an old friend back from Hogwarts, one of the very few to stick with Hyungwon — stopped talking as soon as he saw a muggle entering, but Hyungwon just waved his concern away and his friend’s face lit up, looking at Hoseok with a smile.

Hyungwon had talked with him about his neighbor a couple of times and as soon as Minhyuk’s eyes fell on Hoseok, Hyungwon  _ knew _ he should worry. Nothing good ever came out when that glint of mischief was present in Minhyuk’s eyes.

“So you’re the muggle friend!”

Hoseok startled at the voice and his head whipped around until his wide eyes fell on Minhyuk. He had clearly expected to be ignored, as that was what usually happened whenever there was a wizard customer. Minhyuk’s friendly expression probably soothed Hoseok’s wariness because he didn’t take longer than a couple of seconds to walk closer with a smile of his own.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” 

“Wonnie told me a lot about you!”

Hyungwon closed his eyes with a sigh and turned to write down the ingredients to the potion Minhyuk wanted, knowing there was no way to stop him if he really was set on embarrassing him.

“Did he?” 

Hoseok sound pleasantly surprised and Hyungwon would have smiled if it wasn’t for Minhyuk’s voice.

“Of course! He couldn’t shut up about his cute neighb-”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Hyungwon interrupted with a loud voice, sending a glare in Minhyuk’s general direction, completely ignoring his smirk. It didn’t escape him the way Hoseok smiled, though, his ears bright red. “When do you need the potion?”

That sobered Minhyuk up and his smile faded from his lips.

“As fast as you can make it.” Minhyuk crossed his arms over his chest. “I know I’m asking a lot and I don’t even know if it will work but…” he sighed. “I really need to try it. I can’t take it anymore.”

Hyungwon nodded and grabbed the list he had written down. Minhyuk’s request was a hard one and, honestly, something Hyungwon had never considered before. It could fail spectacularly but it was still worth trying. Healing potions were far from Hyungwon’s specialty, but he would never deny Minhyuk’s order.

“I’ll try to get it done in less than a week,” Hyungwon finally answered after a few calculations. He glanced at Hoseok, who was just watching their conversation with a small frown. He looked back at Minhyuk and smiled. “I can’t promise it will work but I really do think it’s worth a shot. Is he still under treatment?”

Minhyuk shook his head.

“No, he doesn’t want to anymore. He was in constant pain, Hyungwon. I just…” Minhyuk trailed off and it pained Hyungwon to see the always positive Minhyuk like that. “I just want him to be healthy.”

“I’ll do my best, Minhyuk.”

His friend’s following smile was small but genuine.

“I know you will.” Minhyuk closed his eyes and breathed deeply. When he opened them again, all the sadness Hyungwon had seen there was hidden somewhere else. “How much do I owe you?”

Hyungwon just waved him off.

“I wanna be your best man when you marry.”

Minhyuk stared at him with wide eyes and the pleasure Hyungwon felt as he watched his face getting more and more red was so intense he couldn’t even put into words. Minhyuk stumbled over his words before he recovered and laughed out loud.

“Will do!” Minhyuk’s big beam and the blush of his cheeks made Hyungwon smile too. “Thank you so much, Wonnie.”

After Minhyuk was gone — not without exchanging a couple more words with Hoseok, saying he’d come back eventually to get to know him better — Hoseok approached Hyungwon and leaned his elbows on the counter, looking down at the list Hyungwon still had open in front of him.

“Someone’s sick?”

Hyungwon hummed.

“Yeah. Minhyuk’s boyfriend fell sick a little over a year ago.” Looking up, Hyungwon finally noticed the way Hoseok’s fringe fell over his eyes and brushed it back with the tip of his fingers, which earned him a smile. “He’s a muggle, too, and the treatment isn’t really working anymore. It’s not the first time Minhyuk has asked me to brew a cure, but I didn’t know how to do it, until today.” Hyungwon waved the paper in between them with a smile of his own. “Minhyuk’s been researching it for a while and it’s worth a try, I think. So I asked Minhyuk to bring me Jooheon’s hair.” Hyungwon took a small plastic bag from the inner pocket of his jacket, where a couple of black strands of hair laid. “I need it for the potion.” He added after seeing the confused frown on Hoseok’s face.

Hoseok nodded slowly.

“I hope it works.”

“Yeah, me too.” Hyungwon sighed. “Anyway, I’ll close the shop for a week. Just a warning.”

“What?” Hoseok perked up, blinking in a mix of confusion and worry. “Why?”

“This potion needs constant monitoring, I don’t think I’ll leave my apartment until it’s done.” 

Not only was the risk of blowing up the entire street there, but Hyungwon also needed to brew his own wolfsbane potion. If everything went smoothly, Minhyuk’s order would be done just a couple of days before the full moon and Hyungwon needed to drink his own potion for the entire week before that, starting the next day.

It was going to be a busy week and the notion of not seeing Hoseok during the entire time wasn’t making Hyungwon any less unhappy.

Only he saw him the very next night because Hoseok ignored the ‘closed’ sign and knocked on the shop’s door until Hyungwon opened it for him. He had a huge smile on his face as he said:

“So, I’m here to help you!”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Having Hoseok around as he brewed not only Minhyuk’s potion but his own was never something Hyungwon thought he’d go through. And Hoseok made it clear that he’d be back every night, shop being open or not. Until now, save for the one time Hoseok caught him, whenever Hyungwon worked on the wolfsbane, he did it during the day, when Hoseok was busy with his bookstore. But because he thought Hoseok wouldn’t be around during the week, the wizard only started preparing his potion when the night came. 

Which meant that now Hyungwon was in front of two small cauldrons filled to the brim with bubbling potion as Hoseok breathed down his neck, curiously peering over Hyungwon’s shoulder at the potions.

Minhyuk’s order was far from being ready. It needed to be kept boiling over the fire for four more days but it already had a light golden color that showed everything was alright. In the meanwhile, the blue smoke coming off the wolfsbane indicated that the first dose of the potion was ready to be taken. 

Hyungwon sighed in relief as he served himself it. He had been making his own potion for over three years now but it still put him on edge. It was difficult to brew and Hoseok’s presence was distracting Hyungwon more than anything else ever could have.

In exactly one week it would be the full moon, which meant Hyungwon needed to start drinking the potion that very night, without delay. He turned to Hoseok, who was looking at the globet in Hyungwon’s hand with a frown.

“I thought that was another order,” Hoseok said before raising his eyes to Hyungwon’s. “Is it for you?”

Hyungwon nodded and took a sip of the potion, grimacing right after. He would never get used to the taste. Before Hoseok could say anything else, Hyungwon took in a deep breath and dawned the entire globet in big gulps, making a face when he was done.

He put the globet on the sink and watched as it started to rinse itself with a wave of his wand. Hyungwon took a last look to the potion still brewing to make sure it was at the right temperature before gesturing for Hoseok to follow him to the living room.

Hyungwon had been on his feet for almost three hours now, working on both potions. He still needed to tend to the healing potion but he had at least an hour to get a bit of rest. Hoseok’s presence proved to be a blessing, as Hyungwon didn’t have to worry about cooking and his apartment — or the rooms Hoseok dared to mess with, because he refused to touch a single thing in the kitchen — had never looked tidier. 

Hyungwon was leaning against the cushions with his eyes closed but he fell the moment Hoseok sat beside him.

“What is that potion for?”

He didn’t need to ask what Hoseok was talking about because after watching Hyungwon gulping down a globet of a recently brewed potion, his curiosity was natural.

He pushed aside the thought that it would have been the perfect opportunity to come clean to Hoseok.

“I have a chronic disease and this potion helps.”

It was a half true but Hyungwon didn’t feel any better; his chest constricted painfully as if he was lying straight to Hoseok’s face, whose face completely changed with worry as soon as the words were out of Hyungwon’s mouth.

He didn’t deserve Hoseok.

“W-what kind of disease?” The tremble in Hoseok’s voice and how weak it sounded rang alarm bells in his mind. Hoseok shifted closer before Hyungwon could say anything, the tip of his fingers touching the back of Hyungwon’s hand. Slowly, gently. “Hyungwon?”

The wizard blinked with wide eyes, not having expected such reaction out of Hoseok. He had thought his answer was a safe one but only now it was dawning on him how ridiculously ominous he sounded.

In his haste to comfort Hoseok, Hyungwon didn’t think. He turned his palm up and held Hoseok’s hand in his, squeezing it in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture.

“Hey, it’s nothing bad,” Hyungwon said as he shifted until he was facing Hoseok. “It’s just a chronic pain I’ve had ever since I was a child. It’s nothing dangerous or life-threatening.” He rubbed his thumb in circles on Hoseok’s skin, breathing easier when he saw the way his shoulders sagged in relief. “I’m sorry I scared you, Hoseok. You don’t need to worry, I’m fine.” 

_ The finest I’ll ever be _ , he thought.

Hoseok nodded and even though the way he squeezed Hyungwon’s hand back lifted some of the weight off of Hyungwon’s chest, the lack of a smile on his lips put Hyungwon on edge. 

Hyungwon waited for Hoseok to collect his thoughts and tell him what was bothering him because it was obvious there was something on his mind.

Hoseok took a deep breath and Hyungwon half expected him to speak but he moved his hand instead. The fingertips of his free hand gingerly touched the skin of Hyungwon’s wrist and slowly moved upwards until he reached a bump on Hyungwon’s skin, mostly hidden by the sleeve of his shirt. Hyungwon knew exactly what Hoseok was touching and his heart sank, dread filling him and crawling down his body in a vicious pace that resembled that of a snake.

Hoseok was touching a scar. One of Hyungwon’s many scars.

Hyungwon looked down and tried to control his breathing. He had never,  _ ever _ , wanted Hoseok to get anywhere near his scars; they were the biggest reminder of what Hyungwon was and it was like having a physical representation of how close Hoseok was of finding out his secret. He didn’t want that. He couldn’t allow that.

 

_ You will soon see Chae isn’t the kind of creature you’d like to associate with. _

 

Garrick’s voice sounded loud and clear in Hyungwon’s mind and he closed his eyes, wishing it away and hoping, more than believing, his words weren’t true.

Hyungwon’s attention was brought back to the present by the feeling of a warm touch on his cheek. He opened his eyes with a start, breathing in harshly as if he had gone minutes without air, his chest heaving up and down. In front of him was Hoseok’s worried face.

He was so, so close. Hyungwon looked down and saw Hoseok wasn't sitting down on the couch anymore; he was kneeling on it, his body leaning over Hyungwon’s. One of his hands was cupping Hyungwon’s cheek while the other still held tight onto his own.

When Hyungwon looked back into his eyes, Hoseok moved his hand up, threading his fingers into Hyungwon’s hair, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone.

“Are you okay?” Hoseok’s voice was a little louder than a whisper, the concern making it come out in a rush. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t just have touched it like that, I’m sorry.” Hyungwon closed his eyes, trying to get a grip of himself. Only then he noticed Hoseok wasn’t touching his scar anymore and he had no clue of when he had let go. “You don’t need to tell me about it, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked about it.”

And yeah, maybe Hoseok should have asked instead of just going for it. The touch had been unexpected and unwelcome. As much as Hyungwon loved the feeling of Hoseok’s hands on his skin, he had never wanted to feel it on his scars. 

He nodded his head slowly before raising his hand and covering Hoseok’s on his head.

“I’m okay.” He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the muggle’s doubtful expression. Hyungwon’s smile grew a bit bigger. “I’m serious, I’m better. I’m sorry.”

Hoseok shook his head.

“No, no. You don’t have anything to be sorry about. I shouldn’t have done that.  _ I’m  _ sorry.”

Nodding his head, Hyungwon squeezed both of Hoseok’s hands.

“I know you are. It’s okay.”

Hoseok swallowed dry and nodded his head, slowly — almost hesitantly — letting go of Hyungwon, the tip of his fingers rubbing against his cheek before completely parting. 

He didn’t even try to let go of Hyungwon’s hand, however, and he was glad for it. Despite the shock of having Hoseok’s fingers on one of his scars, the feeling of their palms touching was soothing, it calmed Hyungwon down.

“I didn’t want to scare you, I just…”

“Hey,” Hoseok interrupted him. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything.”

Hyungwon shook his head because Hoseok was so, so wrong. He had so much explaining to do, some of which he didn’t think he would ever have the courage for.

“I-I’m not proud of those, Hoseok,” Hyungwon whispered. “I don’t like them. I’d get rid of them all if I could. if it was possible.”

And Hyungwon tried. Merlin, did he try. But none of the spells and potions worked on his scars. Maybe it was because of the magical root of his own lycanthropy, but nothing worked. Hyungwon was just glad that he was lucky enough to never scar his face. Most werewolves weren’t as fortunate.

Hoseok reached out for Hyungwon’s other hand and squeezed it just as tightly as he was holding the other one.

“That’s enough, Hyungwon.” He brushed the knuckles of Hyungwon’s fingers and the wizard felt himself melting under such a small touch, he couldn’t fight off the bashfulness of how utterly gone he was for Hoseok. “I’m sorry.”

“Someday,” Hyungwon started, his eyes never leaving Hoseok’s. “I’ll tell you. I just can’t right now.”

And he meant it. If this situation proved anything to him, it was that Hyungwon couldn’t keep going like this. One day the urge to tell Hoseok, the guilt of not doing it sooner, would be bigger than him and he would have to tell him. For his own peace of mind.

Hoseok just nodded silently and pulled Hyungwon forward by his hands, gently touching their foreheads together. 

Hyungwon sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the proximity for a while before pulling back, knowing he had lost enough time already. Hoseok frowned at first but he made a noise of understanding when Hyungwon stood up and walked closer to the cauldron, grabbing the ladle to stir the potion for an entire minute before lowering his arms and looking back at Hoseok with apologetic eyes.

And as he looked for the next ingredient to add, Hyungwon was hit by a wave of embarrassment for having overreacted. He shook his head to push all the thoughts about his moment with Hoseok away, needing to focus on the potion brewing.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Knowing that Hoseok would be arriving right after he closed the bookstore, Hyungwon wished he could start brewing his potion during the morning as he did during all the months he’d known Hoseok. But now that he had drunk the first goblet already, he had to keep the same time for the entire week. 

Even though he knew Hoseok would most likely hold back any and all comments about it after Hyungwon’s meltdown the night before, the muggle didn’t know how to conceal his own curiosity. 

So, when the potion finally finished brewing, Hyungwon served himself the second goblet of it and blew at the blue smoke before drinking it all down in big gulps. He smacked his lips and made a face after he was done and the sound of Hoseok’s chuckle caught his attention.

The muggle was sitting by Hyungwon’s table, his big frame so completely still that it was almost hilarious. He sat there to keep Hyungwon company as he worked, but it was obvious he was wary of moving around and knocking anything over (which still happened from time to time despite how careful he tried to be.)

The fact that it only made Hyungwon smile fondly instead of getting irritated said a lot about his feelings for Hoseok.

“That bad?”

Hyungwon took a last glance at the healing potion before he sat down in front of Hoseok, crossing his legs and brushing his hair off his face with a sigh, starting to play with the lobe of his ear right after, tugging at his earring absentmindedly and without even noticing he was doing it. 

When Hyungwon looked at Hoseok, he was watching him with his mouth a little slack and slightly glazed over eyes. The wizard tilted his head to the side with a small frown.

“Hoseok?”

Seeming to snap out of whatever daydream he was having, Hoseok blinked quickly as his ears slowly became red. He averted his gaze, shaking his head.

“It’s nothing.” He cleared his throat. “But about the potion, is it that bad?”

“You have no idea,” Hyungwon said in between a humorless laugh. “It tastes disgusting. I’m just happy the taste washes away quick.” Hyungwon smacked his lips together again before showing his tongue, just for the desire to be dramatic. 

It didn’t hurt that it made Hoseok chuckle, Hyungwon thought as he hid a smile of his own with his fingers. 

Watching Hoseok’s smile as he talked, Hyungwon felt himself relax as he thought that maybe he was worrying too much and unnecessarily. There was very little that could actually go wrong as badly as Hyungwon feared and even though he had chosen to tell Hoseok about his lycanthropy eventually, Hyungwon was positive he could take his time with it.

No one could blame him for wanting to enjoy Hoseok’s company as much as he was allowed to.

He eventually had to stand up to tend to the potion, yawning as he stirred it. Hyungwon hadn’t slept a full night ever since he started to brew it, two days ago. He couldn’t slack with the time each ingredient needed to be added; it was such a time-consuming potion, Hyungwon didn’t know if he would have accepted the order if it wasn’t meant for his friends. 

Hoseok’s presence during the evening was of great help, as he always made sure to bring Hyungwon enough food to last him until the following day. He had never eaten as much muggle food and Hyungwon was learning to appreciate the flavor. He was happy that the potion would be done in three days. Then he would be able to focus on all the other orders he had put on hold. 

He was reminded of this fact the moment an owl flew through his open window, landing in the middle of the kitchen table and scaring Hoseok to death. Hyungwon would have laughed at his reaction if he hadn’t recognized the letter the owl had brought him.

Hyungwon had sent owls of his own — had resorted to the postal mail service so he wouldn't overwork Archimedes — to warn his clients about the delay of their potion’s delivery and while the majority of them hadn’t created any case about it, some were more than a little upset, their letters being borderline rude to Hyungwon. 

However, this was the first time he received a howler.

“Bloody hell.” 

Hoseok sent him a questioned gaze but Hyungwon didn’t have time to say anything else before the howler started shaking on the place the owl had dropped it. The animal was already flying away to the living room, probably knowing what was to come and not wanting to be there for it.

Small bits of paper flew out of the howler, some of them falling all over Hoseok and getting stuck in his hair as he leaned back from the table, watching it all with wide eyes.

Hyungwon groaned internally, cursing his luck. Of course, Hoseok had to be present during the only time he received a bloody howler.

**_“Who do you think you are, Chae?”_ ** Hyungwon winced at the volume. He recognized the female voice as one of his worst clients.  **_“Do you think you’re the only one who can brew a potion? I have more to do with my time than to wait for you to stop being lazy.”_ ** Hyungwon saw the moment Hoseok stopped trying to ignore the loudness and started paying attention to the message, a wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows.  **_“You WILL finish my potion on time, you bloody mutt, or so Merlin help me, I will never buy anything from you ever again.”_ **

And that was the end of it. Hyungwon watched with an arched eyebrow as the howler destroyed itself and shredded paper flew everywhere, making Hyungwon sigh.

Hoseok looked up at Hyungwon with slightly widened eyes.

“Relative of Mister Garrick?”

Hyungwon snorted.

“There is a lot of mister Garricks, Hoseok.” Hyungwon pulled his wand and waved it around, cleaning the mess of paper before summoning a piece of parchment as well as an eagle-feather and an ink bottle. “I guess I should send her an answer,” Hyungwon said as he dipped the tip of the quill into the ink. Hoseok watched every single movement he made with curiosity. Hyungwon sighed dramatically. “So sad to lose a client…”

Hoseok chuckled and watched in silence as Hyungwon wrote a small letter about not being able to work on the potion before the time he had already estimated, lamenting the loss of the client but not apologizing for anything.

Hyungwon was tired of apologizing for things that were out of his control.

When he walked to the living room to tie the letter to the owl’s foot — a  _ regular _ letter because Hyungwon had common sense — Hoseok followed him, watching as Hyungwon offered his arm to the owl and then gasping as the animal gracefully jumped onto it.

Hyungwon smiled and turned to Hoseok, the owl’s attention also falling on the muggle.

“You use owls to send letters?”

Hoseok sounded awed and Hyungwon nodded.

“Yeah, this one belongs to the postal service. Some wizards have their own.”

Hoseok suddenly blinked and looked around.

“You don’t?”

“Oh, I do,” Hyungwon talked over his shoulder, already walking to the window and raising his arm for the owl to fly away, which the animal did without a peep. “Archimedes likes to stay in my room though.” He looked back at Hoseok. “Now that I think about it, you never saw him, did you?”

Hoseok’s lips fell open and he shook his head.

Hyungwon glanced at the wall clock and made a mental note to check the potion in twenty minutes before he walked closer to Hoseok. There was an almost silly smile on his lips that wasn’t missed by Hoseok, who blinked as his lips slowly curved into his own smile.

“What?”

“Wanna meet him?”

Hoseok’s entire face lit up.

“Can I?”

“Of course.” 

Hyungwon gestured for Hoseok to follow him and walked to his room. It was the only room in his house that wasn’t hidden by any charms, so when he opened the door and let Hoseok walk in first, he watched with a small smile as the muggle looked all around with a gaping mouth.

Despite the ridiculous amounts of books Hyungwon had in his living room, there was one more shelf full of them in his bedroom. There were a couple of pictures hanging on the walls, the people in them smiling and waving. A few old copies of the Daily Prophet were thrown over Hyungwon’s bed and Archimedes, who had been sleeping on his perch, stirred at the noise and raised his head, looking in their direction. 

Hoseok gasped softly when his eyes fell on the brown owl and he looked back at Hyungwon, who understood what he wanted to ask before Hoseok could even have opened his mouth.

The wizard walked to Archimedes and offered his arm in a similar way he did to the mail owl. Archimedes flapped his wings and leaped to Hyungwon’s arm, who ran his free hand over the feathers of the owl’s back. He walked to Hoseok and Archimedes’ attention instantly fell on Hoseok, who stiffened slightly, glancing over at Hyungwon.

“Hyungwon?”

“It’s okay,” he said, taking Hoseok’s hand into his and guiding it to Archimedes, who watched it without reacting.

“W-wait,” Hoseok stammered in a low voice, as if afraid that any loud noise could disturb the owl. “Won’t it bite me?”

“Don’t worry. You’re with me and he knows it.” Hyungwon said as he finally made Hoseok touch the feathers on the owl’s back, in the same way he had done earlier. “You’ll see Archimedes is very calm.”

Every time Hoseok ran his fingers down Archimedes’ back, his smile grew bigger. The owl didn’t seem to mind that the caress was coming from a stranger. Hyungwon knew he’d eventually get tired of the attention and leave; but for now, he let Hoseok have his fun and fill Archimedes’ quota of pets for the day.

They spent a bit over a full minute in silence before Archimedes finally shifted. Hoseok’s hand froze but he only pulled away when the owl opened his wings. Archimedes looked at Hyungwon, letting out a small noise before flapping his wings and flying back to his perch, closing his eyes and falling back asleep.

“He came back this morning from a long trip so he’s still tired,” Hyungwon explained in a low tone, smiling at his owl. “He’ll be more alert by tomorrow.”

At the lack of an answer from Hoseok, Hyungwon looked at him and his eyes widened. Hoseok was looking back at him and he was so, so close. Hyungwon hadn’t noticed their proximity because Archimedes had been the main focus of their attention, but now that there wasn’t anything but them, it was impossible to not notice how close Hoseok was. And the way he was looking at him made a chill run down Hyungwon’s spine and his heart skip a beat before accelerating.

He had been very close to Hoseok before but Hyungwon didn’t remember ever having been looked at the way Hoseok was looking at him. The fondness in Hoseok’s gaze wasn’t new but the way his chest moved up and down with how quick his breathing was and how his eyes lowered to Hyungwon’s lips from time to time was throwing the wizard for a loop.

Hyungwon took a step back, his mouth opening to speak something, but before he could do so, Hoseok reached his hands out and touched Hyungwon’s cheeks with his fingertips. The contact was incredibly gentle, almost hard to feel, but it completely froze Hyungwon into place. When he didn’t pull away in the following seconds, Hoseok’s hands moved until he was cupping Hyungwon’s face between them.

Hoseok moved closer until he covered the step Hyungwon had taken away from him, and Hyungwon felt his breath on his lips when he sighed. Hoseok whispered something that sounded like  _ God help me _ before he tilted his head up and kissed Hyungwon’s lips. 

Hyungwon’s eyes fell closed seconds after Hoseok’s and he slowly lifted his hands until he was holding onto Hoseok’s waist, who took this as an encouragement to move even closer. The moment their chests touched was probably when Hyungwon completely forgot about any and all logical thinking.

Hyungwon squeezed Hoseok’s waist gently, just to make sure it was really him there, and slid his hand to his back, his palms dragging around his middle until Hyungwon was hugging him, the moment when he finally kissed back. He angled his head slightly to the side before pressing his lips against Hoseok’s, whose hands trembled a little before he slid them to the back of Hyungwon’s head. One of his hands held a lock of dark hair in a loose fist while the other moved even further down, touching the skin of Hyungwon’s neck.

Hoseok kissed Hyungwon’s bottom lip, the way their lips fit together warming Hyungwon’s chest and making a shiver run through his body, before parting his lips without pulling away, the action prompting Hyungwon to do the same.

The first coherent thought Hyungwon had since they started kissing was that he would never forget the feeling of Hoseok’s tongue licking into his mouth.

The second thought was  _ this is wrong. _

It felt as if someone had thrown a bucket full of cold water over Hyungwon. It was enough to snap him out of the happy haze he had been in for the last couple of minutes. 

Hoseok had kissed him, was  _ still _ kissing him. As much as it was exciting and made Hyungwon’s heart beat faster than he had ever felt, to the point of almost making him dizzy, it was so completely unfair to him that he was showing such affection to Hyungwon without knowing what he truly was.

Maybe he would never even think about kissing Hyungwon if he knew he was a werewolf.

Hyungwon felt as if his heart dropped to his stomach when that thought crossed his mind and he slowed the kiss down, holding onto Hoseok’s waist once again, but this time to push him away.

When Hyungwon completely pulled away and their lips were no longer touching, he opened his eyes to the sight of Hoseok breathing fast, his face and ears flushed while his lips curved slightly in the ghost of a smile. The vision went straight into Hyungwon’s heart and the moment Hoseok opened his eyes and looked at Hyungwon as if he was something important, the wizard wished nothing but to kiss him again, kiss him silly until he completely stopped thinking again.

But he couldn’t. He shouldn’t.

Hoseok’s smiled dimmed as he took in the expression in Hyungwon’s face and when Hyungwon took a step back, the space it added between their bodies making him cold, Hoseok sensed that something was wrong and frowned.

“Hyungwon?”

His voice was low and rough and he sounded so uncertain, his eyes running all over Hyungwon’s face in search of reassurance that Hyungwon couldn’t give him. So he just licked his lips — and by Merlin’s beard, he could still taste Hoseok on them — and shook his head, his arms falling back to his side.

Hoseok looked alarmed now and Hyungwon didn’t know what to do to comfort him, not when he felt his own heart breaking.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, looking away from Hoseok as his hands balled into fists. “I’m so sorry.”

“W-what?” Hoseok’s hands that were resting on Hyungwon’s shoulder raised to his head again, cupping his face just like he did before and gently making Hyungwon look at him again. “Hyungwon?” Hoseok searched for something in his face and Hyungwon didn’t know what he found but it only made him even more confused, his frown deepening as worry clouded his eyes. “D-did I read it all wrong?” he opened and closed his mouth, looking at a loss for words for a couple of seconds. “Didn’t you want it, too?”

Hyungwon breathed in deeply and shook his head.

“That’s not it, I-” he cut himself off before he said something he could potentially regret and shook his head again, grabbing Hoseok’s hands and pulling them down and away from himself. “I-I’m sorry, Hoseok, I…” He tried to swallow but his throat was too dry. Hyungwon looked away and walked past Hoseok, mumbling a “The potion. I need to see the potion. I…”

Hyungwon heard Hoseok’s footsteps following him but he didn’t say anything as Hyungwon tended to the potion. His hands were shaking so badly that Hyungwon had to stop for a couple of seconds and breathe in and out to calm himself down.

Only when he was done, the potion ready to boil on its own for twenty more minutes, and he had turned around to face Hoseok did he talk again.

“Hyungwon,” Hoseok started, walking closer to him and stopping one foot away. “What happened? I thought…” Hoseok’s eyebrows moved up and down before a wrinkle appeared between them. “I thought you wanted it too? I thought…” his voice grew weaker the longer he talked until it was just a little over a whisper. “I thought you wanted me too?”

Hyungwon ran a hand through his hair, pulling at it before letting go, frustrated and hurting.

“That’s not- by Merlin, Hoseok, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” Despite the low volume of his voice, it was obvious how distressed Hoseok was. “Why did you do that? It’s okay if you don’t want me, I’d never force myself on you, Hyungwon. N-never.” Hoseok’s eyes started to fill with tears and Hyungwon’s chest  _ hurt.  _ “If you don’t want m-”

“Of course I do.” The words were out of Hyungwon’s mouth before he could think better of it. “Of course I want you, I just…” He bit his lower lip, crossing his arms over his chest and hugging himself so he wouldn’t hug Hoseok instead. “I can’t have you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok blinked, his eyes starting to look glassy with unshed tears.

“Why not?” Hoseok took a step forward and Hyungwon didn’t have anywhere to move if he didn’t want to knock the cauldron over. So he closed his eyes and refuse to watch Hoseok’s face. “Hyungwon, please.”

“You won’t want me, Hoseok,” Hyungwon said without opening his eyes, shaking his head slowly. There was a knot in his throat that he knew would eventually burst into tears. “You don’t want me.”

“But I do!” The gentle touch of Hoseok’s hand on his left cheek was all it took for Hyungwon to fall still. “I’ve wanted you for so long. Don’t talk for me, Hyungwon.” Hoseok was silent for a while, his thumb brushing the skin of Hyungwon’s cheek, who was currently way too weak to push him away for the second time. “And if you also w-want me, why can’t we…?”

He trailed off but it was obvious what he meant and Hyungwon gathered all his will to shake his head again, way too slowly for Hoseok’s hand to let go.

“I don’t- I can’t talk about it right now, Hoseok,  _ please. _ ”

It was getting close; he was getting so close to the truth. Their kiss accelerated everything and now Hyungwon saw himself trapped in a corner. He needed to tell him. Hoseok deserved an explanation, deserved to know why Hyungwon was acting the way he was.

But he just  _ couldn’t _ . He opened his mouth, again and again as the  _ I’m a werewolf and you won’t love me _ at the tip of his tongue refused to fall through his lips. He lowered his head, finally opening his eyes.

“What about later?” Hyungwon looked up and the tear tracks on Hoseok’s cheeks left him devastated. “Can we talk later?” Hoseok’s hand moved up and into Hyungwon’s hair. “I don’t w-wanna let it go. I-if you feel the same, I don’t wanna let you go, so.” Hoseok stopped and took a deep breath. “So can we talk later? Tomorrow?”

And Hyungwon nodded because there was nothing else he could do. He was so,  _ so _ tired and he could hear the cracking sounds of his heart slowly breaking because he knew. He knew that no matter what Hoseok was saying now, how much his words made Hyungwon’s heart flutter, he still pushed away any sliver of hope he felt. He knew that as soon as Hoseok knew, things would be different.

If wizards, who grew up with magical beings all around, couldn’t accept a werewolf, how could Hoseok, whose only contact with the magical world was Hyungwon himself?

“Okay,” Hyungwon agreed with a nod, closing his eyes and allowing himself to be a bit selfish, enjoying the last seconds of Hoseok’s touch on his skin. “Tomorrow.”

When Hoseok left, with a last glance full of longing directed at him before he walked away, Hyungwon waved his wand to lock up the house and sat down on his couch, covering his face with his hands.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hyungwon didn’t allow himself to think about Hoseok and their incoming talk during the entire day.

He kept himself occupied from the moment he woke up, not even stopping to eat because just the mere idea of eating the food Hoseok had left him the previous day made his throat clog up. He focused on the potion and kept himself busy with his books whenever he had a break. 

The day passed in the blink of an eye and Hyungwon wasn’t sure how good of a thing that was. 

He was grabbing the ingredients for the wolfsbane potion when he heard the faint sound of knocks on his front door. He lowered the glass of aconite to his table and closed his eyes, breathing in and out deeply before grabbing his wand and unlocking the front door.

Hyungwon was still in the middle of preparing the aconite when he felt Hoseok’s presence in the threshold of his kitchen’s door. He didn’t let himself look away from the ingredient, his hands firm in what they were doing despite the nervousness coursing through him.

“I need to finish this first, okay?” He said, knowing his voice would be carried to Hoseok. “Just give me one hour or so.”

“That’s fine.” Hyungwon heard the sound of Hoseok’s footsteps and saw in the corner of his eye when he sat on one of the kitchen chairs. “I’m earlier today.” Hyungwon nodded without a word. He thought they’d be in silence but Hoseok apparently had other ideas. “Wait, I’ve seen that before.”

Hyungwon lifted his eyes to him, seeing Hoseok’s own were on the aconite.

“Oh, yes.” he lifted one of the plants to let Hoseok see it better. “Aconite. You grabbed a glass of it a while ago.”

Hoseok’s face lit up when the memory came back to him before it softened into a small smile.

“You freaked out that day.”

Hyungwon snorted.

“Yeah, I was afraid you’d make yourself sick or something.” He gathered the aconite and threw it in the small cauldron that was already full and bubbling with the heat of the fire. “It’s poisonous.”

“You told me.” 

And then they fell into a tense silence. It was almost palpable how much Hoseok wanted to keep talking but Hyungwon was a bit grateful that he held back. He focused on stirring the potion clockwise, and then the other way around. He counted each completed circle the ladle made in the cauldron, making sure he didn't stir it too much or too little. He added the last ingredients before pointing his wand to the fire under the cauldron to dim it, going back to stirring it right after, Hoseok’s eyes following him wherever he went. 

When the one hour wait he had asked of Hoseok was up, blue smoke was coming off the potion. Hyungwon served his goblet of it and stirred the healing potion thrice before carrying his wolfsbane to the table, sitting in front of Hoseok before taking a deep breath and gulping it down.

He put the goblet on the table with a loud noise and a grimace. When he looked at Hoseok again, he had a small smile on his lips.

“How many more do you still have to drink?”

Hyungwon sighed.

“Two more nights.”

“Couldn’t you make it a single dose?”

“That’s not how it works,” Hyungwon explained, his fingers playing with the rim of the empty goblet. “Every potion has its own rules to be followed, some are more lenient and you can trick them to brew easier, but some are too complex for that.” Hyungwon raised his eyes to Hoseok, who was watching him with interest. “This is a complex potion, I need to follow all its steps until the end.” He swallowed dry. “Or it won’t work.”

Hoseok nodded his head slowly.

“Do you feel pain all the time if you don’t drink it?”

Hyungwon didn’t answer, staring at Hoseok. Right, he had said that. Letting out a long sigh, Hyungwon stood up and gestured for Hoseok to follow him into the living room.

“We need to talk.”

He watched as Hoseok made himself comfortable on his couch and instead of taking a seat next to him, Hyungwon sat down at his wooden coffee table, right in front of Hoseok. 

The muggle blinked at him with slightly wide eyes before he relaxed, the tip of his ears already red. He looked to the side and cleared his throat.

“So…?”

Hyungwon was at a loss of what to say, so he licked his lips in an attempt to calm himself down.

“Do you want to ask me something?” he questioned, thinking maybe this was the easiest way to start.

Hoseok looked at him without saying a word for almost half a minute and when he spoke, his voice was weak, as if he feared Hyungwon’s response to his word.

“Did… did it meant anything at all for you?” He made a pause. “Our kiss?”

Hyungwon had half expected him to ask about the aconite and almost felt ashamed for it. It was obvious that Hoseok was worried about what happened the day before after Hyungwon basically rejected him.

“It did.” Hyungwon rested his elbows on his knees, the movement making his lean closer to Hoseok. “I told you it did.”

Hoseok shook his head with a humorless laugh. He crossed his arms over his own knees and Hoseok wasn’t a petite man by any means; he was all wide shoulders and firm muscles, but the way he was hunched forward — as if he was trying to make himself small — made him look like it. It was like seeing the physical representation of his insecurities and Hyungwon hated it. Hated himself, too, for making Hoseok feel like that when his presence had always been big and strong.

“How can I be sure when you rejected me?” Hyungwon looked down at that. “You told me you wanted me and now you’re telling me the kiss meant something for you, but you’re still rejecting me, aren’t you?” The sigh Hoseok let out was so loud and frustrated that Hyungwon heard it too. “You’re confusing me, Hyungwon.”

“I know,” Hyungwon whispered, nodding his head slowly before looking up. “I know and I’m sorry. I’ll explain it all to you, just…” Hyungwon closed his eyes once again, trying to gather his courage. “Just give me a moment.”

Hoseok didn’t answer him directly, but his silence was enough to show he was waiting for Hyungwon to speak whenever he was ready. 

And not knowing exactly how to break it to Hoseok, Hyungwon just acted without really thinking about it. He opened his eyes and started to pull the sleeve of his blue sweater up, baring his forearm to Hoseok. Hyungwon saw the exact moment his eyes widened at the sight.

There were small scars scattered all over the inner part of his arm but the one that took most of his skin was a bite mark close to his elbow. Hoseok moved one of his hands in his direction but Hyungwon pulled his arm close to his chest and out of his reach. There was a flash of hurt in Hoseok's eyes, but Hyungwon didn’t want him to touch his scars before he knew what exactly they meant. 

He lowered his arm again for Hoseok to see the scars and ran the tips of his own fingers over the bite mark.

“This was the first one,” he said in a low voice. “I got it the night my family was killed. The others followed along the years.”

“Hyungwon…”

“I was three when I was bitten,” he didn’t let Hoseok speak, he needed to let it all out before he lost the little bit of courage he had. “No one knew how I even survived, such a big bite on a small body.” Hyungwon stared at the bite mark. “I made all the others.” He raised his eyes to Hoseok, who was watching him with a frown on his face but his hands were restless on his own lap. He was obviously torn between putting the pieces together and comforting Hyungwon. “I have them all over my body.”

“Was it…” Hoseok’s voice broke and he tried again. “Was it a coping mechanism?”

Hyungwon knew what Hoseok was thinking and he smiled sadly, shaking his head.

“I don’t think so, not really.” He sighed. “I just lost control when it happened.”

“When it happened?”

Hyungwon watched Hoseok’s face for almost half a minute before touching his index finger on his bite scar.

“This is a werewolf bite, Hoseok,” he finally said it. “This is the reason why so many wizards treat me the way they do. I turn every full moon.”

Hyungwon saw the exact moment the information sank in Hoseok’s brain because his face drained of color.

“You’re a…”

“When I was still living in the orphanage, they locked me up in the basement behind those thick doors. It worked and I never attacked anyone, never hurt everyone.” Hyungwon averted his gaze to his own scars, not wanting to see Hoseok’s expression as he spoke. “But I trashed the entire room. I was loud and all the other kids were afraid of me.”

Hoseok didn’t say anything even after almost a full minute and Hyungwon finally looked back at him, his heart sinking at the way Hoseok was staring at him with wide eyes. And although this wasn’t the first time Hyungwon had shocked Hoseok, this was the first time his eyes weren’t filled with awe. 

Fear was something Hyungwon learned to identify in people’s body language and expressions. And it was obviously fear in Hoseok’s eyes. 

It broke Hyungwon’s heart beyond repair.

With a knot in his throat that didn’t let him breathe, Hyungwon held Hoseok’s eye contact.

“Do you get what I’m saying?” his voice was low but he knew he sounded distressed. “Do you understand why I couldn’t let you just…” he cut himself with a frown. “I knew everything was gonna change when you discovered it and I just couldn’t keep hiding that from you.” When Hoseok still didn’t say a word, Hyungwon leaned closer to him, raising his hand. “Hoseok-”

Hoseok flinched away before Hyungwon’s fingers could touch him.

Hyungwon stood there, frozen. Hoseok’s entire body flinched away from Hyungwon when he got closer, sinking into the couch. The strong reaction, the fear in his eyes. What Hyungwon had dreaded the most was happening right in front of his eyes, eyes that filled with tears. He was feeling cold all over, his chest hurting so,  _ so _ bad.

It took a couple of seconds for Hoseok to notice Hyungwon’s tears, and his expression changed when he did, part of the fear fading into guilt. It wasn’t any better, Hyungwon hated it just as much.

“H-Hyungwon,”

Hyungwon buried the fingers of both hands into his hair, pushing it off his face in a way that was more rough than necessary. He shook his head and stood up at the same time he felt the first tear fall down his cheek.

“I’m s-sorry.” His voice broke in the middle of the sentence but Hyungwon didn’t care. “I never wanted to scare you.”

There were muffled noises behind him and when Hyungwon looked over, Hoseok had stood up as well and was taking slow steps toward Hyungwon, leaving only two feet between them.

“T-that potion. Is it for that?”

Hyungwon nodded.

“Wolfsbane. It makes me keep my sanity after I turn. I don’t lose control when I drink it.” He tried to swallow but his throat was way too dry for it. “It makes me… still be me.”

Hoseok nodded and crossed his arms in front of his chest, hugging himself.

“Hyungwon, I-” he cut himself. “I don’t know what to think, I- I… You’ve been turning during every full moon ever since we met?” Hoseok didn’t sound disgusted but the fear was still there. “A-arent you, uh, dangerous?”

Hyungwon sucked in a breath.

“I can be. If I don’t drink the potion, if I skip one, I become dangerous. But…” Hyungwon didn’t know how to make Hoseok not fear him, because even though the potion made his wolf docile, the truth was that he’d always be dangerous. All it took for him to lose control was a slip on his part. He had never forgotten to take his potion, and maybe it was ingrained far too deep in his being for him to ever forget, but how could he reassure Hoseok that he’d never be dangerous?

He couldn’t.

“What happens when you drink it?”

Hyungwon shrugged one shoulder.

“I sleep. I’m still myself and I hide in my room for the whole night until I turn back again.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Archimedes keeps me company.”

Hoseok nodded but he didn’t look reassured. He looked frantic, afraid and completely lost.

Hyungwon watched as Hoseok walked back to the couch and sat down, hiding his face in his hands. He looked away and, wiping away the tears that fell down, walked back to the kitchen. 

He needed to stir the potion and Hoseok looked like he could use some time alone to put his thoughts in order. 

Hyungwon was still tending to the potion when Hoseok slowly walked into the kitchen, sitting on the same chair he had used when he arrived. He waited until Hyungwon finished before he started talking.

“You’re a wizard, you could have easily hurt me if you wanted, I don’t know w-why this makes me so scared.”

Hyungwon sat in front of Hoseok, hating how weak his voice sounded.

“Everyone’s scared of werewolves,” Hyungwon added. “It’s the lack of control. Don’t… don’t feel bad for it. I knew you’d be afraid and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier.”

Hoseok nodded his head slowly and they fell into a strained silence as Hyungwon played with his fingers over the tabletop. The quietness was only broken minutes later, by Hoseok.

“I need to think.” Hyungwon looked up at him, knowing his eyes were sad. Hoseok licked his lips. “I… I like you so much, Hyungwon. I look at you and I want to kiss you so bad but-” Hoseok closed his eyes and shook his head, rubbing a palm over his face. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Hyungwon mumbled, looking down to his hands. “I know, Hoseok. I really do. Don’t be sorry.”

“I-I think I need to go.” Hyungwon’s heart broke a little bit further but he nodded his head. Hoseok stood up and started walking to the door. However, he stopped right before the kitchen’s entrance and looked over his shoulder at Hyungwon. He seemed to chew over his words before finally letting them out: “I just need to know,” Hyungwon hummed for him to ask. “What do you feel for me?”

Hyungwon smiled, sad and longing.

“I love you.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Thank you so, so much Hyungwon,” Minhyuk whispered against his shoulder as he hugged Hyungwon, his hand firmly holding the glass with his finished potion.

The potion Minhyuk had ordered for Jooheon was finally ready. Hyungwon had contacted Minhyuk, who didn’t want to wait a single extra day and apparated at the corner of Hyungwon’s street before literally running to his house. 

“You’re welcome.” Hyungwon patted his back. “I don’t know how well it will work but I’m very positive.” He pulled back, trying to give Minhyuk a real smile. “Let me know how it goes?”

Minhyuk nodded with a wide smile, wiping away the only tear that fell down.

“I will.” He sobered up and his eyes became worried. “But Hyungwon, are you okay?”

Minhyuk was playful and loud but Hyungwon knew very few people who were as sensitive to people’s emotions like he was. So he wasn’t surprised that he saw straight through his fake smile.

It was useless to lie so Hyungwon shook his head.

“Hoseok knows.”

Minhyuk’s eyebrows moved up in surprise before he frowned.

“How did he find out?”

“I told him.” Hyungwon laughed bitterly. “We kissed. We kissed and I, I couldn’t keep lying to him, Minhyuk.”

Minhyuk nodded, pocketing the vial safely before pulling Hyungwon into another hug. Usually, Hyungwon would have shoved him away with a snarky comment but this time he just hugged Minhyuk back, resting his forehead on his shoulder.

“He likes you, Hyungwon.” he heard Minhyuk’s voice close to his ear. “It’s obvious he does. I could see it that day.”

“You didn’t see his face. He was so scared of me, Minhyuk.”

“Well, I was too.” Hyungwon pulled away to glare at Minhyuk, who smiled. “What? It’s true! You were the first werewolf I ever met, I was terrified!” his face softened. “But then I saw you were much more than your wolf. He’ll see it too, Hyungwon. He’ll come around.”

Hyungwon denied it with a shake of his head. He had already wished for something he would probably never have, he didn’t need the useless hope. It would only hurt even more later.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because he  _ likes _ you. He  _ knows _ you.” Minhyuk cupped Hyungwon’s face with both hands. “He didn’t look like he was the prejudiced type. You can have hope, Hyungwon.”

“No, I can't,” he closed his eyes and leaned into Minhyuk’s touch. “I don’t want to have hope. It’ll hurt too much.” He opened his eyes but he wasn’t really seeing Minhyuk, his mind was in the last time he had talked with Hoseok. “He asked me what I felt for him.”

“And what did you say?”

“That I loved him.” Hyungwon hid his face on Minhyuk’s shoulder again, who just hugged him tighter. “He didn’t say anything back, Minhyuk. He just… nodded and left.”

“Give him time, Hyungwon,” Minhyuk comforted him. “He just needs time. He’s a muggle, it’s too much for him.”

“I’m so-” Hyungwon’s voice cracked and he paused for a second. “It hurts so much.” Minhyuk’s hand started to rub up and down his back and it was so comforting, Hyungwon felt himself slowly relaxing in his arms. “It always does but… but this is Hoseok.”

“I know, Wonnie. I know.” Minhyuk’s voice was soft and soothing. “It will get better. Everything will be okay.”

“Will it really?”

“I’m sure of it. Just have a little bit of patience, okay?”

Hyungwon nodded and allowed himself a few minutes to calm down before pulling away. He rubbed both hands over his face and offered his friend a smile when he lowered them down.

“Tell me how Jooheon reacts, alright?”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The full moon arrived and left without any news of Hoseok.

Hyungwon was back to his regular routine, opening the shop during the day as he kept an eye on the potions brewing in his kitchen. And even though it kept him busy, he had gotten so used to Hoseok’s presence that every night he saw himself waiting for him to arrive before finally remembering that he wouldn’t be coming.

The longer it took Hoseok to contact him, the more certain Hyungwon was that he wouldn’t want him in any way. He almost regretted having let Minhyuk’s words get to him because it seemed so unlikely that anything even remotely good would come out of their situation. But  _ Merlin _ , did he still hope.

Minhyuk and Jooheon were a rare exception in Hyungwon’s experience. When Minhyuk had found out that Hyungwon was a werewolf, he had been scared and wary of him just like everyone else. But he eventually decided their friendship and Hyungwon himself were more important than any fear he could have. His reservations about Hyungwon’s wolf faded completely when he started drinking the potion. Jooheon had grown up knowing about the wizarding world, being Minhyuk’s childhood friend. He had been even less worried about Hyungwon’s lycanthropy than Minhyuk.

But they were one of a kind, something so rare to happen. 

Hyungwon felt almost silly because despite how all logical thinking told him Hoseok most likely wouldn’t look for him again, he still looked up at the front door whenever he heard it open, wishing —  _ hoping —  _ it was Hoseok only to be disappointed.

When the door opened that evening, Hyungwon automatically looked up with his chest full of hope that this time it could be Hoseok who’d he see walking inside.

And it was.

Hyungwon was rooted in place, barely even breathing as he watched Hoseok walk closer with slow steps and eyes on everything but Hyungwon.

When he stopped, only the counter separating them, his eyes finally moved to Hyungwon’s face. And Hyungwon watched his expression, searching for the same fear he had seen days ago. He searched for disgust, for all the negative feelings he was so used to seeing directed at him. He was terrified of finding them, but Hyungwon still searched.

He saw nothing. His shoulders sagged in overwhelming relief. They weren't there. There was no fear in Hoseok’s eyes. He looked uncertain, tentative and a little bit ashamed. He looked maybe a little bit embarrassed and hesitant, but he was no longer obviously scared and Hyungwon was so ridiculously relieved. He crossed his arms on the countertop and let his head hang down, breathing in and out.

“Hyungwon?” Hoseok sounded worried and Hyungwon shook his head. “Hey, are you feeling sick?”

“N-no, no.” He raised his head and gave Hoseok a tentative smile. “I’m just surprised to see you, that’s all.”

Hoseok’s mouth opened in a small  _ oh _ while his cheeks and the tip of his ears blushed a pretty red.

“Right. I’m-” Hoseok made a face and started over. “I’m sorry I took so long.” Hoseok rubbed the back of his head. “Can we talk?”

“Of course,” Hyungwon mumbled, already pulling his wand to lock the front door, deciding he could close down earlier for a night, this was more important. “Do you want to come in?”

Hoseok nodded and followed Hyungwon inside. He looked at the couch in his living room but didn’t sit down. He turned to Hyungwon.

“Can we talk in your room?”

Hyungwon frowned at the request but went along with it, he had no reason to deny it.

Archimedes turned his head to them as soon as the door opened and hooted once before flying off his perch and to Hyungwon. He accepted the offered arm and greeted his owner with another hoot. The owl’s attention fell on Hoseok right after, who blinked. Hyungwon ran the back of his fingers down Archimedes’ back, and he smiled even though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“He’s waiting for pets.”

Understanding dawned on Hoseok’s face before he smiled and stepped closer. Hyungwon automatically took a step back, moving only his arm closer to Hoseok. He averted his gaze to the floor, not able to see Hoseok’s pained expression.

“Hey, Archimedes,” Hoseok cooed in a low tone, gently caressing the outer feathers. “Still remember me, uh?” The owl hooted as if in answer, and Hyungwon wouldn’t doubt that it could, indeed, be trying to communicate. “Would you give us some time? I need to talk with Hyungwon.” 

And that caught Hyungwon off guard because one of the few things he noticed by observing muggles was that they didn’t take animals’ intelligence seriously. To see Hoseok talking with Archimedes like he’d talk with another person surprised him. He couldn’t help but wonder if he had somehow influenced him or if it was just part of Hoseok’s nature.

Archimedes opened his wings and hooted one last time before flying out of the room. Hoseok followed him with his eyes.

“Where is he going?”

“Probably out to hunt. It’s night already.” 

Hoseok nodded before turning to Hyungwon, who just waited in silence. He honestly didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if he had anything left to say. Hoseok had asked to talk with him, so Hyungwon just waited until he was ready to do so.

Hoseok finally looked up at Hyungwon’s face after what seemed to be too long and watched him without saying a word. Hyungwon had missed him during those few days and he didn’t shy away from the opportunity to watch Hoseok back, running his eyes all over his face before allowing himself to lower his eyes to his shoulders. He was wearing a sweater that looked snug on him yet still warm, showing off how broad he was — so much broader than Hyungwon, who had to look away because he looked so, so good.

“You look tired.”

It was as loud as a whisper but the room was so quiet that Hyungwon heard it clearly. He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, looking up with a bitter smile.

“I know.” He hesitated in speaking what was in his mind but decided to just do it, thinking he had no reason to hide it and things couldn’t get worse than they already were. “The full moon was two days ago.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened and his mouth fell slightly open as he nodded his head.

“Oh, right.” He paused and licked his lips, playing with his hands and looking so nervous. “I thought the potion would…?”

He trailed off but Hyungwon had no trouble picking up what he tried to ask.

“It just lets me keep a human mind.” He sighed and sat at the end of his bed, suddenly feeling too tired to stay up. “It’s still hard.”

“Does… does it hurt?”

Hyungwon crossed his legs and nodded his head.

“A lot. Both turns are exhausting.”

Hoseok frowned and tilted his head to the side, looking adorably confused.

“Both?”

“Yeah, like…” Hyungwon gestured absentmindedly with both hands before giving up and letting them fall to his lap. “The turn into a wolf and then back to human.”

“Oh, right.” Hoseok rubbed the back of his neck and Hyungwon smiled. “How are you feeling?” he paused. “Besides being tired, of course.”

Hyungwon shrugged one shoulder.

“The usual after a full moon,” he licked his lips and looked up at the ceiling, trying to access his own body, which parts hurt. “I’m all sore and there’s an ugly scratch on my hip but that’s it?”

Hoseok’s eyebrows moved up and he took a step closer, apparently without thinking because he suddenly froze. The worry was still present in his eyes and Hyungwon was starting to feel so, so confused.

“Are you hurt?”

“Just a scratch.” Hyungwon waved his worry away with a hand. “Really, I’m used to it. It’s unavoidable.” He smiled in the hope of reassuring Hoseok. “At least my face is still pretty.”

Hoseok didn’t laugh. He also didn't say anything. He just stared at Hyungwon’s face for so long that he shifted on the bed, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the attention and very worried about what Hoseok was thinking.

Hyungwon watched as Hoseok took a step forward. And another one. And another. He walked slowly until their knees were almost touching. Hoseok crouched down in front of him, without ever breaking their eye contact. Hyungwon didn’t know what he was looking for, but it didn’t matter at that moment; Hoseok was so close that Hyungwon would be able to count his eyelashes if he concentrated hard enough. 

He was so, so beautiful and Hyungwon loved him so, so much. He grabbed the edge of his own blouse and squeezed the cloth because he needed something to do with his hands, he needed to occupy them or he’d reach out to touch Hoseok otherwise. 

“Hey,” Hoseok finally said, his voice low and sweet. 

“Hi,” Hyungwon whispered, not being able to speak louder even if he wanted to, with how dry his throat felt. His heart was beating fast and he felt so ridiculously nervous. “What did you want to talk about?”

Obviously, Hyungwon knew the subject of the talk they were about to have, but he just wanted to get it over with already. 

“I’m…” Hoseok sighed, closing his eyes for the briefest moment. “I’m sorry.” he licked his lips. “I’m so sorry, Hyungwon.”

Hyungwon’s heart was beating so fast he worried it would jump out of his throat at any moment. He tried to calm down by breathing in deeply and letting it out slowly.

“What are you sorry for?” Hyungwon shook his head. “You don’t ha-”

“I do.” He blinked at the way Hoseok interrupted him. “I do have to apologize. Because for a moment, I…” Hoseok cleared his throat, wrinkling his nose. “For a moment I forgot it was you.”

Hyungwon frowned. The more Hoseok talked, the more puzzled he felt.

“What?”

“When you told me you were a werewolf, I got so scared.” Hoseok put his hands on the mattress, caging Hyungwon between his arms, whose eyes widened at how much closer Hoseok got with the action. “I didn’t know werewolves even existed and then not only did they, but there was one right next to my house, I-” He stopped and seemed to think better of what he had been about to say. “It scared me. I could only think about all the legends and horror stories. I saw a monster, I saw blood.” Hoseok shook his head before looking up at Hyungwon. “And I forgot to see you.”

Hyungwon sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Hoseok, please. What are you trying to say?”

“I’m sorry, I know I’m blabbing, what I mean is that I completely forgot I knew you.” he stopped for a heartbeat. “I  _ know _ you. I was so scared that I forgot you’re not just a faceless werewolf out of horror movies, you’re…” Hoseok blinked, his mouth moving without any word coming out as if he couldn’t grasp the right one. “You’re a wizard, for fuck’s sake. You brew potions and you like to wear comfortable sweaters. You have an owl and like to drink lemon tea.” Hyungwon couldn’t look away from Hoseok’s face, every single word that came out of his mouth going straight to his heart and making the small hope he had been nursing ever since his conversation with Minhyuk grow bigger and bigger. “You’re Hyungwon and I’m so,  _ so _ sorry it took me this long to see you again.” Hoseok pulled his right hand back and gently touched his fingertips to the back of Hyungwon’s hand before slowly moving it until his entire palm was covering Hyungwon’s. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it at first, that a werewolf isn’t all you are.” Hoseok lowered his head until his forehead was resting against Hyungwon’s knee. “You’re so much more than that, I’m so sorry, Hyungwon.”

Hyungwon’s lower lip trembled and his free hand was shaking when he touched the back of Hoseok’s head, slowly threading his fingers into his hair.

“Aren’t you-” Hyungwon closed his eyes and tried again because the knot in his throat made it so hard for him to speak. “Aren’t you afraid of me?”

“I’m a little afraid of full moons.”

It wasn’t a complete  _ no _ but Hyungwon hadn’t expected him to deny it, so Hoseok’s answer was more than he could have ever hoped for.

“Aren’t you disgusted by me?”

That question seemed to have caught Hoseok by surprise because he looked up with shock written all over his face.

“Why would I be disgusted by you?”

Hyungwon smiled a bit sadly.

“A lot of people are.”

“No.” Hoseok’s voice was firm. “You never disgusted me. You never will.” Squeezing Hyungwon’s hand, he kept going. “I was afraid, I wasn’t thinking clearly. But I was never disgusted.”

Hyungwon accepted it with a nod, turning his hand palm up and lacing his finger with Hoseok’s, squeezing his hand.

“When I told you,” Hyungwon started, looking down at their joined hands. “I was sure everything would change, that your opinion about me would change. I thought you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

“Hyungwon,” When he didn’t look up, Hoseok gently shook his hand. “Hey.”

Hyungwon raised his eyes to his face.

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” Hoseok said, with a firm voice and fond eyes. Hyungwon’s heart sped up in his chest. “I still love you. I didn't stop. I just need a little time.” Hoseok tried to smile but his lower lip trembled, his eyes filling with unshed tears. “But now I’m back. For however long you’ll have me.”

Hyungwon gasped out a dry sob and closed his eyes as he lowered his head to avoid Hoseok’s eyes. He held tight onto Hoseok’s hand and counted to ten.

“I’m so selfish when I’m with you,” he whispered before opening his eyes and seeing Hoseok’s expectant expression. “I love you.” Hoseok closed his eyes and sighed, his shoulders moving down as it got rid of some of the tension he had been carrying. “I’ll have you forever if it’s up to me.”

Hoseok chuckled and it sounded wet. The first tear slid down his face before he opened his eyes. But when he smiled up at Hyungwon, it was big and beautiful. It made Hyungwon want to smile too.

Hoseok lifted his hand to cup Hyungwon’s face, whose eyes fell closed when he leaned into the touch.

“Wonnie…”

“Uh?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Hyungwon let out a weak chuckle and nodded his head without bothering to open his eyes. 

Hoseok’s lips felt just as soft as Hyungwon remembered. He had pulled away from Hyungwon’s grip to hold his face between both of his hands, tilting Hyungwon’s head up as he moved closer, the closeness of his body warming Hyungwon’s colder one, making him sigh against his mouth.

Hoseok pulled away just far enough to be able to see Hyungwon’s face.

“Hoseok-”

“I love you,” he whispered against his lips. “I love you so much.”

He wasn’t able to answer because Hoseok was kissing him again. He smiled into the kiss and curled his arms around Hoseok’s neck, pouring his entire being into the kiss. He pulled Hoseok down and he slowly lay down on the bed, the soft mattress under his back a huge relief to his sore body. 

Hoseok was mindful, he held himself up by his elbows instead of letting his entire weight fall on Hyungwon. He nipped gently on Hyungwon’s bottom lip and that was all it took for his mouth to fall open, his hand running down Hoseok’s back at the same time the kiss deepened.

When Hoseok pulled away again, Hyungwon’s breath was ragged and his heart was still beating fast. But now there was euphoria running through his veins and he couldn’t have stopped smiling even if he tried. Hoseok kissed his jaw and placed a trail of pecks onto his neck before lifting himself up to look at Hyungwon’s face, beaming back as soon as he saw the smile on the wizard’s lips.

“Hey,” Hyungwon called with a rough voice. Hoseok hummed in question. “I love you, too.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Can you show me again?”

Hyungwon thanked whatever high forces that were up there for the fact that he had no potion currently brewing because he didn’t want to leave his bed so soon; not when Hoseok was lying on his side next to him, his arm thrown over Hyungwon’s waist. They hadn’t moved out of the bed ever since Hyungwon pulled them onto it mid-kiss, just shifted to get comfortable.

Hyungwon moved to his side too, raising a hand to brush back Hoseok’s hair.

“Uh?”

“Your scar. Can you show me again?”

Hyungwon’s hand froze and he blinked at Hoseok, who was chewing on his lower lip.

“Are you sure?”

Hoseok nodded and Hyungwon felt his thumb rubbing on his waist over the cloth of his blouse.

“Only if you want to.”

Hyungwon thought for a couple of seconds before sitting up. He was followed by Hoseok, who watched in silence as he pulled his sleeve up, baring his arm and scars to Hoseok. Hyungwon sighed and raised his eyes to the muggle, waiting for his reaction.

Hoseok stared at the marks in Hyungwon’s arms at first, not doing anything. Only after half a minute did he move. He ran the tip of his fingers first over the mark of the bite that turned Hyungwon before dragging them over the other scars. Some were small, others not so much, but Hoseok gave them all the same attention.

“You said you have them all over your body?”

“Yeah,” Hyungwon didn’t take his eyes off Hoseok, watching every change in his expression. “It was worse before I started to drink the potion but it still hurts when I turn and sometimes I scratch myself. It’s hard to control it.”

Hoseok nodded in understanding. He finally pulled his hand away and Hyungwon thought he was done but he just moved his hand to hold Hyungwon’s arm in place before lowering his head and dropping a kiss in the scar closest to the wrist. 

Hyungwon gasped and watched with his mouth slack as Hoseok kissed every scar visible on his arm, making sure to pucker his lips to each and every one of them.

He kissed the bite mast last and only then let Hyungwon’s arm go.

Hyungwon didn’t know what to say. He looked Hoseok straight in the eye and just lay there frozen and with his heart so full of so many feelings for the man in front of him, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Hoseok smiled, a little bashful, and leaned forward, kissing Hyungwon on the lips.

“Was that okay?”

Hyungwon blinked and smiled.

He smiled big and silly, lowering his head and hiding his face in the crook of Hoseok’s shoulder, who chuckled and hugged him close, tight.

Minhyuk was right. Everything was going to be okay.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
